I Always Make Guys Get STD Tests Before I Sleep With Them & You Should Too

You see it in movies and on TV all the time. A guy and a girl have an amazingly passionate first date together and immediately jump into bed together. There’s never any talk about STDs or how to avoid them. That’s why I make a point to discuss them openly and you should too.

  1. STDs can be prevented. It’s as simple as wearing a condom, but since most guys don’t like to wear them, that means they can go ahead and get screened for STDs. Even if we do use protection, I insist any guy I sleep with get tested no matter what since you never know what may happen. If he refuses, I’m not going to destroy my sexual health for him.
  2. If he actually saw you as a long-term partner, he’d just do it. Yeah, it can be embarrassing, but if you’re old enough to have sex, you’re old enough to get serious about STDs. And if he actually liked and respected you for you, he’d get it done. If you catch one, it doesn’t mean you sleep around too much or have too many partners, it just means that maybe you should think a little before any action goes down.
  3. Some STDs are forever. HIV/AIDS, genital herpes, and genital warts don’t have a cure. Bacterial STDs like chlamydia and gonorrhea are easier to cure and require medication, but it’s not like you can pick and choose which STD you’ll get after unprotected sex. Ask yourself this: is this likely awkward sexual encounter worth a lifetime of warts?
  4. Women need to look out for ourselves. You can’t take a guy at his word since it’s possible he doesn’t even know he’s infected. By getting the proof, you know he’s being honest and followed through with your simple request. And yes, it is simple. Don’t let any guy tell you that you’re being extra by demanding he gets tested.
  5. The look on his face when you ask will tell you everything about his personality. Does he look embarrassed or angry? That means he’s likely hiding something from you that he doesn’t want to face himself. That, or he’s not really all that concerned about STDs—he just wants to get laid. Since being honest and upfront about health is the sexiest thing ever, ditch this guy and find someone better.
  6. STDs should be an open topic. People talk a lot about accidental pregnancy but nobody talks about STDs. Condoms are literally the only form of protection against them if you’re planning on having sex. It’s not a fun topic but it’s really important. According to CBS News, 67% of the population have herpes in some form. HSV-1 comes out orally in the form of cold sores. But with sexual activity, that can easily lead to genital herpes, or HSV-2.
  7. It’s something he should also be concerned about. You’d want to know if you had a disease, right? Some STDs don’t require much to clear up, they just need to be addressed before they spread further. Don’t sleep with a guy who’d rather walk around spreading illness than have one brief appointment with a doctor he might be temporarily ashamed about. Let him know that you’ll also get one done if he requests to prove it’s not a big deal.
  8. Men need to take some responsibility too. Ever notice how much of this is on women? Men don’t have implants, IUDs, or have to take a pill at the same time every day. When it comes to sex, women need to really carry the burden. Going to the doctor before hitting the sack is literally the least he can do. If he’s too lazy to do that, don’t expect much of him throughout the entire relationship.
  9. It’s a step towards a healthier relationship. If it’s not already clear, I’m not into one-night stands these days since there’s too much at risk. I’m looking for an actual partner who values more than my body. In asking someone for an STD screening, it’s like saying, “I see potential with you and want to make sure we enter this relationship with no secrets.” When those results come back and they’re clean, you can rest easy if you’ve both decided on a monogamous relationship.
  10. It’s proof that he’s an actual adult. Do you know who’d freak out at the idea of getting checked for health issues? A child. This is pretty much the equivalent of having a hissy fit over a trip to the dentist. Adults take action when it comes to their health. If you’re with someone who refuses, feels insulted, or says something like “I know I’m clean,” just know that your relationship probably isn’t going to last very long.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.