It sounds a little bizarre, I know, like only dating someone with a compatible zodiac sign or something. However, I maintain that making my dates take a personality test definitely gives me an eerily accurate look into our future…
I only ever use the Myers Briggs and I swear it’s legit. You know the drill—you’re asked a series of questions and you have to answer as honestly as possible. On a scale of 1-5, you say how much or how little you agree with the statement, simple and standard. When the results are calculated, you’re given four letters which correspond to personality traits for example if your first letter is E you’re an extrovert and if it’s I you’re an introvert and so on. You can then do endless research on your four letters, finding long-winded explanations about who you are, why you make the choices you do from a psychology point of view, which four letters make the best friends for you, the best dates, the worse dates, even tips for your dates on how to date you! It’s amazing.
My result was so accurate that I was embarrassed to share it. The first time I did it, it was with my six girlfriends and everyone was keen to share what they got. By the time my results were on the screen and I’d read the two-page analysis of the innermost private workings of my brain, I was mortified. It was so accurate that my mother could have written it and I was actually embarrassed to show my girlfriends. You see, it’s brutally honest and definitely focuses on your bad points too!
I’m an INFJ and I’m sorry. This letter combination means I’m an introvert (I) intuitive (N), feeling (F) and judging (J). In laymen’s terms, I’m a boring, judgmental bitch who takes everything too personally! Alright, I oversimplified, but you get the idea. I’m naturally closer to two of my six girlfriends even though we all met at the same time and only ever meet up as a group. It turns out that one of those girls was also an INFJ and the other was an ENFP, the most compatible personality type for an INFJ. I was sold so I did more digging.
I redid the test, answering like my exes. Obviously, I tried to answer how I thought they’d answer, which might not be entirely accurate. Still, I was able to make good guesses based on their actions and likes/dislikes. When the results came in, it was like everything clicked into place. I immediately understood their past behavior, why we didn’t work out, and even how I could have made more of an effort despite my natural tendency to act like an INFJ.
I wanted to understand my dating style and this test helped. This topic was of great interest to me, but at the same time, I was worried about what I would read. I can be hard work sometimes and I know it. I scoured the internet for everything I could find on dating an INFJ—it became almost an obsession. It all just made so much sense, if only guys would act this way with me, there would be nothing to fight about.
I learned so much about myself too. It turns out there are reasons I can’t handle confrontation and can’t articulate myself well face to face. But now I’m aware of those reasons, I might be able to work on those issues which is actually pretty cool. It’s like seeing the past and being able to change the future because of it.
It taught me so much, I started asking dates to take the test. In the beginning, I’d try and set the conversation up for talking about personality tests around the third date, but now I just whip it out pretty soon after we say hello. It definitely looks weird, but then I am kind of weird, so if that alone freaks him out, it’s better he runs for the hills before we order dessert.
I take it seriously but not too seriously. I believe there’s a lot of truth in this test but I’m not a wacko. If a guy I’m dating ended up being the worst letter combo for me but things were going well, I wouldn’t dismiss him just based on the test. If it’s already feeling awkward though, bye!
Give it a go, but you have to be honest! It won’t work if you’re not open to actually being honest with yourself. There’ll be some tough questions and bitter pills to swallow, but if you’re looking to learn a lot more about yourself, Myers Briggs is the way to go.
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