Dating can be so exhausting. Sometimes you feel like you spend all your time kissing frogs or building false hope. Even when a guy does seem promising, how do you make it stick? If you’re ready to have your very last first kiss and make this one last, try these things.
Bring out the best in him. If you make a guy feel good about himself, he’s going to want to be around you. Sometimes this means acknowledging the qualities in him that most people ignore. Other times it means believing in him even when he doesn’t believe in himself. Encourage him to be the best he can be and mirror the most beautiful parts of who he is. He’ll feel amazing around you and appreciate your support and confidence in him.
Build a deep connection. If he feels like he can open up to you, particularly if he doesn’t often confide in other people, he’s already on the road to love. Establishing a deep connection is an important part of intimacy. Supporting him when he needs it and even just being there when he needs to talk and listening without judgment will show him that he can confide in you and feel completely at ease in your presence.
Try mirroring him. You know that feeling you get when you first realize you have a lot in common with someone? Mirroring works to create that same feeling. Despite the opposites attract theory, similarity is a huge factor in desirability. Beyond sharing interests, mirroring his words, postures and gestures can develop rapport, intimacy and (when done subconsciously) shows you are in sync. Don’t be too obvious about it though, otherwise, you’ll probably just weird him out.
Make him feel needed. Every guy wants to play the hero from time to time. It might seem a bit selfish, but it’s a nice feeling to think that things might fall apart without you—like you’re indispensable in some way. Making him feel like a provider of sorts taps into all those innate, primal instincts that influence the brain into feeling love.
Tell him a secret. While telling him your life story on the first date is not recommended, don’t be too mysterious. Revealing information about yourself over time creates closeness and helps to build a bond. You can start small until you’ve established trust. Don’t let all the skeletons out straight away—if you’ve got a body buried in your backyard, maybe keep that one to yourself until he’s fully committed.
Give him space. Guys like their freedom, so pulling on the reigns won’t have a great result if your aim is to keep him around. Smothering him won’t make him feel more connected to you, in fact, the opposite is true. It seems counterintuitive to give him space in order to get closer, but if you show you understand that he needs time to himself to recharge every now and then, he’ll appreciate what he has with you that much more.
Try a little tenderness. Make sure he knows you care about him. This doesn’t mean acting like his mom, but making sure he feels nurtured will go a long way. It’s important that there’s giving and receiving on both ends, and there’s plenty of ways to show you care without being smothering or over-the-top. Opt for things like asking him how his day was rather than coddling him with baby talk or blowing up his phone with cutesy texts.
Don’t be a doormat. You should never let a guy walk all over you. If a man knows he can stand you up, be unaccountable and generally do whatever he wants and you’ll still be waiting around, he won’t value you. If he treats you in a way that doesn’t sit well with you, let him know—you don’t have to tolerate bad behavior. If you don’t stand up for yourself, he might take advantage of you, but he won’t fall in love with you.
Make him feel like a winner. Men place value on things they have to work for. This isn’t about playing games. Instead, it’s about believing you are worth being valued, adored and loved. This kind of confidence—knowing your attention is something that has to be earned rather than volunteered to just anyone—will draw him in. Guys are hard-wired to chase the women they’re interested in, so expecting a bit of effort before the chase is up is a win-win.
Discover your own happiness. Nothing will kill a relationship faster than being clingy. By taking responsibility for your own happiness, you’re showing that you don’t need a man to be fulfilled. So instead of using all your energy holding onto a guy, spend your time doing what makes you happy. Interesting people are interesting to be with and if you create your own happiness and take charge of your own life, other people will want to be a part of it.
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