While you should never change who you are to be more attractive to someone else, there are ways to become the type of woman that people want to date in general. By doing these things, you’ll become absolutely irresistible.

Give them compliments. 

Do this every time you see them, but only once—you don’t want to come across as creepy—and only genuinely. Never be insincere. From commenting on their fun fashion sense to telling them they have a great sense of humor, any way that you can make them feel good about themselves, do it. This injection of niceness will have them flocking to you quicker than Usain Bolt on a racetrack. 

Ask them about themselves. 

Full disclosure: the number one reason why some people choose not to make the first move is that they’re unsure how the other person feels about them. That said, because the average human loves to talk about themselves, asking your potential love match some questions will give them the heads up that you like them—and perhaps coerce them into discussing a prospective date. But don’t just rely on the typical questions, such as “where are you from?” and “what do you do for a living?” (Boring!) Try to ask deep, insightful questions that will kickstart a strong emotional connection.

Make eye contact. 

It sounds simple, but look into the person’s eyes when you’re talking to them. Some people are afraid of doing this, therefore, if you force yourself to do this (naturally, of course) then it shows confidence. And everybody loves confidence in a potential life partner—am I right?

Level-up your flirting game

The number one way to show someone that you want to date them is by getting your flirt on. Banter with them, be playful, and throw a couple of sexual innuendos into the conversation. They’ll soon be falling over themselves to date you. Pronto.

Laugh at their jokes.

Not only will this massage their ego, but it will also help them to feel comfortable around you. If someone can be themselves around you, this forms a foundation for a flourishing, long-lasting relationship.

Make them laugh. 

Likewise, you can make someone feel comfortable around you by giving them a giggle. Telling jokes, funny stories, or laughing at yourself is a great way to attract someone to you. After all, studies show that humans are naturally drawn to those people they find funny. Don’t get me wrong, if you try too hard then this can go horribly wrong. Just be your witty self and the rest will follow.

Physically touch them. 

Similarly, touching someone on the arm, hand, or leg when you’re talking to them is a renowned sign of flirting. Try not to force it and make sure you read their body language or outright ask for consent. The physical contact can provoke attraction, which can then lead to wonderful things. Score.

Look and smile at them from a distance. 

When you’re not talking to your special someone and trying to carry out all the above suggestions, there are other things you can do to make them want to date you. For instance, if you’re in the same room for a mutual friend’s party or you work together in an office, keep glancing at them and see if they glance back. Sure, it’s important not to stare, but sometimes just looking at someone can let them know that you like them. You could also crack them a smile. If they smile back, you might be onto a winner.

Make an effort to reach out to them. 

If it’s been weeks and your crush still hasn’t asked you on a date, you can create opportunities for them to do this just by reaching out. Whether you follow them on Instagram or ask your mutual friend for their number, there’s no shame in making the first move in the twenty-first century and age of equality.

Ask them if they want to go on a date

Finally, if you’ve done all of these things and nothing is happening (and you’re growing impatient) then why don’t you take control and ask them if they want to grab dinner with you sometime? If they say yes, awesome! But if they say no? Hey, at least you tried and you’ll never have any regrets. Go get ‘em.

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