If He Makes An Effort With Your Friends, He’s A Keeper

We have all been in that relationship where he refuses to make any effort with our friends. It can be immensely frustrating when even a year into our relationship, our friends barely know him and he has no interest in changing that. WTF? Your girls are important to you, so when a guy you’re seeing actually works to incorporate them into his life and vice versa, you know he’s a keeper.

  1. It shows he plans on sticking around for a while. Yes, he probably would rather be spending the time watching the football, or even just spending time with his own friends, but when you care about someone, you also care about the people that matter to them. He knows that your girls will always be a massive part of your life and since he plans to be in it for a long time to come, you know you’ve found a good one.
  2. Nothing warms your heart more than when he remembers the little details. When he not only turns up but makes an effort to remember everyone’s names and details about their life, it means the world to you. It also makes your conversations so much easier to not have to explain which one was Meghan’s boyfriend for the 15th time or how you met Stephanie.
  3. You can finally bring him as your plus-one to all your friends’ events. It’s so nice actually being able to include him in all parts of your life, and that means finally not going solo to events! Even you get bored at some parties and gatherings your friends arrange from time to time, and it seems a lot more fun when your boyfriend is not only welcome but properly invited because he’s part of the group.
  4. A guy who’s invested is sexy as hell. He wouldn’t make that kind of effort if he wasn’t that interested in you. If you’re still in the early stages of a relationship, you probably understand the hesitancy to not rush meeting your friends, but once he’s agreed to that (and actually seems excited about it), it’s safe to say he’s interested in you on more than a superficial level. Spending time with your friends means sacrificing time with his and that means more commitment to your relationship.
  5. Your relationship will be way stronger because of it. Not only is a source of constant tension when your boyfriend and your besties don’t get on, but it begins to affect the relationship. Every time he declines an invite and you end up going alone, you get angry and it makes him look bad  to your friends, who wonder why he hasn’t shown up again. While you may not call him out on it every time, that disappointment does add up and will be a sore spot of your relationship. When he not only shows up to events but enjoys going to them, it’s just another chance to make memories together, and what could be better than that?
  6. Your friends’ opinions matter — if they like him, that’s a good sign. It’s bliss when your friends and your boyfriend would probably get along even without you in the picture. Whether it’s because of mutual interests or just a similar sense of humor, it’s so nice when it doesn’t feel forced and conversation flows naturally and effortlessly. When your friends give him a big thumbs up, you know he’s a keeper —their seal of approval carries some serious weight.
  7. If his friends like you too, it’s a double win. When you’re really into a guy, you’ll also try your best with his friends and at a certain point, you’ll probably introduce them to your girls. Life becomes pretty easy when your two friendship groups merge slightly and you don’t have to stress over the guest list every time you both want to throw a party together.
  8. It improves the lines of communication between you. If he’s made the effort with your friends and things aren’t clicking then he’ll likely say something. This might mean you have to have a difficult conversation, but talking it out and being honest with each other is the only way that you can grow a relationship and learn to navigate difficult topics.
  9. Group dates are finally an option. Now that everyone gets on, you can finally enjoy the perks of it — and that means more fun date ideas! With more people, you have more options, whether that be a big group hang or simply a double date. You probably never thought this would be a possibility before because you were worrying about all the awkwardness, but with everyone getting along, it’s a perfect idea!
Michelle Elman is a body confidence activist, certified life coach, creator of Scarred not Scared, and founder of Mindset for Life. She’s written for publications including Cosmopolitan, Huffington Post, and Grazia and appeared on ITV’s “This Morning,” Sky News, Loose Women, and more. She’s also the author of the book “How To Say No.” You can follow Michelle on Instagram at @michelleelman, on Twitter @michelleelman, or on her website, MichelleElman.com.