Jealousy and social media stalking are just signs you’re really into him, right? Wrong. The kind of relationship you want to be in is the kind you don’t have to question, and if you find yourself relating to any of these habits then you’re better off single:
Worrying about every second he isn’t with you is your new hobby. Everything is perfect until the moment he’s gone. You find yourself stalking literally every single female who’s liked his most recent girlfriend until it’s 2:30 in the morning. When he doesn’t respond quick enough to your last text (because he was, IDK, sleeping maybe?!), you find yourself getting overly paranoid. If you’ve secretly linked your maps together without him knowing, then you’ve gone too far.
You’ve stopped caring about the things that matter to you. Remember when you used to ride your bike or spend hours listening to that thriller podcast? If it’s been months since you’ve remembered to call your mom, your grandma or your best friend, then you need to take some time back for yourself. Insecurity can take up a lot of our day, especially when a guy is involved. Not feeling like yourself is the biggest sign that something is wrong.
The future seems uncertain and not in a good way. While you don’t have to necessarily hear wedding bells, you should at least feel confident that you’re going to be together for awhile. If you’re questioning whether or not he’ll be your date to your sister’s wedding in three months, then you have your answer. There’s literally no point in being with someone you can’t depend on.
You constantly feel like you’re having to fight for him. You should never, ever, ever, ever, EVER, feel like you need to show your man how great you are. He’s with you. He’s made a conscious choice to be with you, so he should already know. If he’s acting like he doesn’t — and like you still have something to prove —then GTFO of that relationship. There’s no need to dedicate all your efforts to keep him around when there are much better things you could spend your time on.
You are no longer the focus of your own life. Every decision you make is made with one person in mind, and it isn’t you. When you haven’t had a treat yo’self moment in god knows how long, then you need to take one. Being insanely selfish is the name of the game if you want to stop living your life for a dumb boy. If you feel yourself worrying that you’ll miss an opportunity to hang out with him if you make plans with your friends or go get a mani, that means you need to do it that much more.
Friends and family become less of a priority. Everybody in your life is complaining about how they never see you. When you try to come up with a good excuse for why you’re “so busy,” you realize you can’t because you’ve been so wrapped up in this relationship that you really haven’t done much of anything. If the people who know the most about you know very little about who you’re with, there’s a reason.
He doesn’t make you feel confident in any way, shape or form. While some insecurity we make up ourselves, our boyfriends are not supposed to fuel the fire. Intentional or not, if the guy you’re with doesn’t make you feel like he wants to be with you, then you don’t need to be with him. End of story.
In the back of your mind, you’re always wondering if he wants to be with someone else. If you can’t shake the feeling that you’re just a pit stop on his way to true love, it’s because it’s not a feeling you’re supposed to shake. When you’re with the right person, there’s no doubt that you two go together, and you won’t feel constantly threatened that someone is going to whisk him away.
You’re always comparing yourself to other girls in his life. Always wondering if he wished you had bigger boobs like Sarah isn’t worth being in a relationship for. Sometimes we create our own paranoia, yes, but I think that paranoia comes from the fact that we know deep down we’re not supposed to be together.
He doesn’t make an effort to make you feel special. We don’t get into relationships so we can give up our whole lives to be constantly worried. We do it for the promise of security and because it’s with someone we think the world of who thinks the world of us in return. Anything other than that is just a waste of your time.
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