A man has demanded that his wife poops before he gets home every day so that they can spend their evenings together “uninterrupted” by her trips to the bathroom. Reddit user extracheesecurds took to the AITA sub to question if he was wrong for asking his wife to defecate on her own time when he’s not around as her lengthy toilet breaks are something he finds annoying. Needless to say, pretty much everyone thinks he’s the a-hole.
- He works long hours – why can’t she poop then? OP starts his post by pointing out that he works a job with long hours and that his wife is currently unemployed and spends all day at home, therefore leaving her plenty of time to do her business. He isn’t complaining about being the breadwinner (though you could argue that by mentioning it, he’s obviously feeling a bit butthurt about it), but he does think that’s relevant to the story.
- He loves spending time with his wife after he gets home. After work, all he wants to do is chill out with his wife. The only problem is that she often ruins their quality time by having to use the bathroom. “I love spending time with her in the evenings, but often we will be watching/doing/playing something and she will have to leave to go to the bathroom for 30+ mins,” he wrote. “As you can imagine, this can be quite annoying.”
- He “gets” that you can’t control when you need the bathroom… but does he really? While OP is quick to insist that he knows you can’t tell your body when it’s time to poop, he also says you kinda can since he uses the toilet at the same time every morning. I mean, why can’t everyone be like him?! “I have pooped every morning when I wake up for as long as I can remember. It’s not like I never have to poop at other times, but that’s not the norm. I know everyone is different, but it’s kind of frustrating to me that she won’t even try,” he complained.
- Even though it seems like his wife might have IBS or some other digestive issue, he doesn’t care. All that matters to OP is that his wife using the bathroom cuts into his precious time. “I understand that you can’t always control when nature calls, but it’s sometimes every single night of the week,” he wrote. “Last night we had 10 minutes left in our movie and she told me to pause it and didn’t come back for 40 mins. I was pretty annoyed, so when she came back I asked her if she could try pooping earlier in the day so we can spend more time together in the week. She started laughing and asked me if I was serious. I told her that I was and she told me she can’t control when she has to go.”
- He actually told his colleagues about this. This guy is such a tool and so self-righteous that he actually went and blabbed about this issue to his colleagues expecting them to back him up. However, one of them called him out on his BS and he’s confused as to why. “I asked some guys in the office today and all of them said I was an asshole for asking this, but I really don’t think I am! It’s not like I’m asking her to do something I wouldn’t do for her. Or really something that unreasonable. If she tried and wasn’t able to I would be okay with that.” I mean, would you, though?
- Pretty much everyone agrees that OP is in the wrong here. One even suggested that maybe she spends so much time in the bathroom to get away from the kind of guy who thinks he can dictate when someone poops, and frankly, that’s probably true.