A frustrated husband has admitted that he no longer wants to have kids with his wife after seeing the way she takes care of their dog. Reddit user throwawaypuppymaster took to the AITA sub to ask if he was wrong to rule out fatherhood with his partner because he doesn’t believe she can handle an actual baby if she can’t even take care of a dog. Many people agreed that while what he said was harsh, his opinion was pretty much right.
- The couple have been married for about seven years. OP revealed that he’s 32 and his wife of seven years is 29. While they’ve discussed having kids before, they’ve always thought they have plenty of time left to make that decision and so were in no hurry to do so, instead choosing to focus on building their careers.
- They recently started “trying” for a baby. I put “trying” in quotes because as OP says, they have the attitude of “when it happens, it happens” and they haven’t been going at it hardcore. It hasn’t happened yet, so they decided in October 2020 that in the meantime, they might as well give things a mini test run by getting a puppy.
- They thought it would be a good bonding activity. OP explained that both he and his wife are animal lovers and were looking forward to training the dog together since they were both working from home. They both love him, but that’s where the problems start…
- OP’s wife just doesn’t look after the dog. According to OP, he’s the one who does everything for the dog while his wife doesn’t lift a finger. “Ever since we got him, I’ve had to bathe, feed, and clean up after him. Don’t get me wrong, she helps out as well but I would say it’s in a 90/10% ratio,” he wrote. “It gets extremely tiring after awhile and sometimes I just want to kick my feet up, have a nice beer and watch tv without being interrupted with ‘Hey, the puppy just peed! Can you come clean it up!'” He eventually called her out and told her she needs to start pulling her weight instead of only playing with the dog, which she didn’t take very well.
- That’s when OP broke the news that he didn’t think she could be a mother. He admits himself that he “might have gone too far” but he had to tell her how he felt. “I told her if I can’t trust her to look after our puppy how can I trust her to look after a baby. If we had a baby, I won’t be able to take cleaning up after him all the time and she had to do her share as well. If she was going to act the same way, I would rather not have a kid,” OP shared. Uh oh!
- His wife really didn’t take it well. OP said that “she screamed at me, burst out into tears and left the house. She has been staying at her parents’ for a few days now but things don’t really seem to be improving.” His wife’s parents claim that looking after a puppy and looking after a baby aren’t the same thing and that she would make a great mother. They’re also demanding that he come over and apologize for the “horrible” thing he said. However, OP thinks that while what he said was harsh, he “had to make a stand” as he would never want to get into the position of having a baby with her acting like this.
- Commenters seemed pretty much on his side. They did say he could have spoken to her differently but that dogs and babies actually are similarly demanding in a lot of ways and that if she can’t handle a dog, she might not be any better with a human being. It’s unclear what happened after this post – I wish he’d come back and give an update!