If I Were A Man, Here’s How I’d Treat A Woman

After getting disappointed in dating time and time again, you may find yourself wondering what you’d do differently if you were a single man looking for a serious (or casual) relationship. Even though it’ll never happen, this is how I’d treat a woman if I traded in one of my X chromosomes for a Y:

  1. I’d never leave her wondering how I felt about her. I wouldn’t play games or act coy about my feelings for her — I’d make it clearly known what I was thinking, how I was feeling and where I wanted things to go with us.
  2. I’d respect her independence. I’d always be there for her if she needed me, but if she wanted to go it alone, I wouldn’t protest. I’d understand that she needed alone time and the freedom to do as she wished. Rather than clipping her wings, I’d be happy to help lift her up so she could fly higher, especially knowing she’d do the same for me.
  3. I’d let her know her emotions were valid. Whether she was angry, sad, happy, or somewhere in between, I’d make sure never to ridicule or belittle her for what she was feeling. I’d know that she might experience things differently than me, but I’d never make her feel bad for how her brain and heart processed things.
  4. I’d stand beside her. She’d never feel beneath me, nor would she feel like she’d settled for me. I’d ensure that she knew she was my partner through thick and thin. No matter what we came across, we’d conquer it together. I’d show her through my actions that we were equals, able to help each other up when things got bad and cheer each other on when things were good.
  5. I’d love her the way she needed to be loved. If she needed alone time, I’d give it to her. If she needed me to hold her all night, I’d do it. Different people need different kinds of love at different times, and if I were a man, I’d understand that my idea of how to show my love for her might not always match up with what she had in mind.
  6. I’d never let her feel abandoned or alone. I’d never walk out in the middle of an argument without assuring her that I’d come back. If she were going through a tough time, I’d let her know that whether she wanted me right next to her or just needed her space, I’d never force her to deal with this on her own. I’ve been abandoned by way too many guys before, and if I were to switch places, I’d never do that to a woman I cared about.
  7. I’d be honest with her even when the truth hurt. I’m so tired of men lying to my face about anything and everything just because they want to get laid. If I were a man, I’d be straightforward with the women I dated, even if it meant that one of us ended up being a bit bummed out. Even (and especially) if she really liked me, I’d never lead her on with false hope when all I really wanted was something casual, and I’d hope she’d do the same for me.
  8. I’d care for her the same way she cared for me. After giving more than I’ve received for so long, all I want is a guy who reciprocates the love I give him. As a guy, I’d make sure that I’d never let my partner do all the heavy lifting in a relationship. If she supported me through a rough period at work, I’d do the same for her. And, on the flip side, if I took care of her while she was sick, I’d expect her to do the same for me.
  9. I’d listen to her instead of just hearing her. Rather than just letting her words go in one ear and out the other, I’d sit down and pay attention what she was telling me. Even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear, I’d still make the effort to give her the same audience that she gave me when I was concerned about something.
  10. I’d make sure she felt secure in our relationship. I’d never threaten her with a breakup just to get her to take my side, and I’d definitely never flirt with another woman just to make her jealous. I know how much it sucks when the man you love makes you feel like you’re just one slip-up from convincing him to leave or cheat on you, and if I were a guy, I’d do my part to make sure my girlfriend never felt like that.
  11. I’d fight to keep her through the good times and bad. No matter how tough things were, I’d still make every effort to show her that I’d be by her side. If I felt like she was starting to pull away from me, I’d do everything in my power to win her back rather than just letting her go. Relationships aren’t perfect, but if I knew that things could be fixed, I’d do whatever I could to make it happen.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu blue belt. She's currently hanging out in Costa Rica with her cat and a lot of really big bugs.