If There Are So Many Fish In The Sea, Why Haven’t I Caught One Yet?

I’m single and I’m over it. I meet tons of guys but none that I can actually see myself being with long-term. Still, everyone just keeps telling me that there are plenty of amazing guys out there and suggesting I just move on to the next one. I’ve been in this game a long time, so if there really are “plenty more fish in the sea,” why haven’t I caught one yet?

  1. If there are plenty of amazing single people, why can’t we seem to find each other? As much as statistics say that there are plenty of single men left on the planet, when I go out, they all seem taken. Where are these single guys hiding and why aren’t they looking for me? I feel like I’m doing all the work and I’m stuck in a game of catch and release.
  2. I have good bait, so why aren’t they biting? I’m a great girl who’s confident in myself, but society tells me that if I’m alone then I’m the problem. I have my flaws, but I’m still a catch. I’m putting myself out there but I’m just not getting any bites. I don’t know what other bait I need, but I’m not going to hand out free sex just to get a guy. My personality should be enough bait to reel a good guy in.
  3. What if someone else already caught my fish? What if the love of my life is already taken? What if another fisher already snatched him up before we even had the chance to meet? People marry the wrong person every single day — that’s why the divorce rate is so high. So what if I’m out there looking for a fish that’s not even in the pond? It makes going to the bar sound like a waste of time to me.
  4. I’m tired of going out fishing. Sometimes I just want to stay in, but it’s pretty rare that love shows up on your doorstep. I just want to stay home, watch Netflix and stop spending money at the bar. I’m worn out of trying to find love. Maybe it’s high time I let the right guy find me instead.
  5. What if all the good ones really are gone? Where are all those good fish hiding? It seems like slim pickings out there. Am I just supposed to settle for the “best” of what’s left? If the good guys are all taken, should I just attempt to reel in a bad boy? If that’s the case then love just got pretty damn depressing.
  6. What am I doing wrong? I’ve been in the dating game for quite some time, so how have I not mastered it yet? You’d think that this game would get easier over time, but it doesn’t. Another day, another player, and I’m left with yet another broken heart. I must be doing something wrong. If only someone could correct me…
  7. Is finding love really this hard? Despite the fact that the saying “there are plenty of fish in the sea” is supposed to be comforting, it’s actually terrifying if you think about it. Seven billion fish in the sea and I’m looking for just one. Those don’t sound like good odds to me.
  8. What if my fish is swimming in another pond? The love of my life could live across the world from me. How fair would that be? I’m going out to bars in close proximity but the man I’m meant to be with is at a bar miles away. He might as well be a lifetime away at this rate.
  9. Moving on from the wrong fish still isn’t easy. There are a lot of fish in the sea — so many that people make it sound easy to just move from fish to fish until one’s a catch, but moving on isn’t that easy. Just because he wasn’t the right guy for me doesn’t mean he didn’t leave his mark. I caught the wrong fish, I threw him back, but I can’t just get back out there. I still need time to heal and so does he.
  10. What if the man I’m meant to be with isn’t really a “catch”? If everyone is meant to be with someone then that goes for the jerks and players too. What if I’m the girl meant to be with one of those players? Am I just supposed to put up with the BS because he loves me? I’m looking for one hell of a guy, and I’d rather be alone forever than settle for that “catch.”
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.