You Don’t Have To Be Either Married To Mr. Right Or Single With 10 Cats—There’s So Much More In Between

It sometimes feels like there are only two options for your life: you either find your perfect guy and live happily ever after or you give up on dating and get cats. Who said that you only had those options? There’s so much more to life than romantic relationships. Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Don’t put yourself into a box. Just because you’ve always been told you could either be a wife or spinster, it doesn’t mean you should be putting yourself into either box. Screw that! There are so many other lives to live. Maybe you want to have relationships but no ring on your finger, or you want an open relationship, or perhaps you’re after the great man AND want to be a cat mama. Live outside the box and you’ll see there are so many different opportunities for you to grab.
2. You can flip the script. Why stick to just one plan for your life when you can taste them all? You’re young and there’s so much to experience! If you get married to Mr. Right, that doesn’t mean you’ll be happy in that marriage forever. Likewise, maybe you want to be forever single for now, but it could change. Here’s the thing: you’re allowed to change the script and jump from one box to another when your needs change.
3. You’re not benched. You might feel like you’re sitting on a bench, waiting to be picked for either the “cat” or “marriage” team. Um, who the hell said that you should sit on the sidelines? You can go out there and choose whatever you want to be. Stop waiting for life to happen and make it happen.
4. You might want neither option, tbh. Maybe you really don’t want to find Mr. Right and you don’t want to stay at home and watch Bridget Jones’ Diary. You were made for greater things, like being a strong and fabulous woman who doesn’t fit a label. How about that?
5. Don’t think of either choice as “good” or “bad.” We’ve been brainwashed into thinking being forever single is bad while having Mr. Right is good. That’s BS! It could be the other way around, that being single with 10 cats is actually bliss while settling down with a great guy is actually a snooze fest. It’s about finding what’s right for you.
6. Your relationship status doesn’t define you. Whether you’re single or taken, it doesn’t make you a better person. It just reflects your choices, simple as that. Instead of thinking that your relationship status is a measure of your happiness or self-worth, realize that it’s just one part of your life but doesn’t say a damn thing about who you are.
7. You can rise above society. Sure, society might put you in either box—married or single cat lady—but you know what? Stressing about how society sees you is a total waste of time. You’re not on this earth to make society happy or change its mind. Here’s the thing to remember: society is just people and people’s opinions about you don’t matter.
8. You choose how you see your relationship status. You have ideas in your head of how important it is to be married, but is it really? The only achievement that’s worth anything is the one you choose to chase down, not the one you feel you have to in order to be seen as valuable. Make it count.
9. Let life surprise you. Sometimes, no matter how much you plan for your future and try to become what you want, life has other plans. So what? Enjoy the ride and see where it takes you. It might take you down the aisle, to the pet store, or somewhere you never even dreamed of going. Be open to the journey.
10. You don’t have to compromise. You don’t have to compromise on one thing to become the other—you really can have it all, or not. The choice is yours, but never compromise on what you truly want because that’s really the only regret you’ll have later in life.
11. There’s no box that will give you complete happiness. There’s always the fear that if you become the old cat lady, you’ll die alone (and get eaten by said cats). Or, that if you don’t find Mr. Right, you’ll never be gloriously satisfied. What BS. There are no rules in life and no guarantee of happiness. The only real and lasting happiness is the one you create for yourself.
12. Life’s more than being—or not being—in a relationship. Your life shouldn’t revolve around whether or not you’re in a relationship. You’re so many other things in life, such as a sister, a mother, a bestie, a confidante, and more. Your life is full and thriving beyond your relationship status and expectations. Whether you’re the cat lady or married woman, it actually makes no difference because you’ve got so much else to do in your life.