One of the worst parts of the Covid-19 pandemic has been having to be away from loved ones. Thanks to closed borders, government regulations, travel bans, and social distancing laws, many people have had to say goodbye to the people they love for extended periods of time. And it sucks. Here are the reasons why it’s so painful to be away from someone you love.
- You miss them and can’t do anything about it. It’s natural that you miss someone you love when you’re apart. Everyone knows that. But the experience of constantly missing someone who is far away, whom you love a lot, is draining. And painful–much more so than most people would realize. Although there are things you can do to make yourself feel better, like FaceTiming them or keeping reminders of them close, you can never really make that feeling go away. You will always miss them until you see them again. And when you’re not going to see them again for a while—whether it’s until the borders open or until the whole pandemic is over—you feel like your hands are tied.
- Other people spend more time with them than you. It’s hard knowing that other people are spending more time with your loved one than you are. Absence does make the heart grow fonder in some cases. In other cases, the relationship just can’t withstand two people being apart for so long. You might feel like the more time your loved one spends with other people, the closer they come to leaving you. Of course, this doesn’t happen in all relationships. But the fears might be overwhelming.
- It’s harder being surrounded by couples. When you’re alone, being surrounded by other couples can be difficult. That’s true when you’re single. And it’s true when you’re with someone who lives far away. You might find that you feel more sensitive around happy couples because they remind you of what you’re missing out on. That can then impact the happiness you feel in your day-to-day life. It can also affect your decision to join in on group events.
- You feel powerless and like you’ve lost control. Being away from the person you love makes you feel like you’ve lost control. You feel powerless. There are solutions to so many things in life, but you just can’t do anything to fight physical distance. Sure, there are things you can do to help. But ultimately, you feeling better will be up to that person coming back. The choice might be theirs, it might be the government’s, or it might be up to fate. When it’s not your choice, it’s easy to feel like you no longer control this part of your life.
- You can’t always tell them things instantly. It’s natural to want to tell your loved one things as soon as they happen. They’re probably the first person you run to when something good happens. And you’ll probably instinctively contact them with bad news too. When they live far away from you, you don’t always have that option. There might be a time difference. Or maybe it’s expensive to contact them. Whatever the reason, there becomes a barrier between you that makes it harder to communicate.
- You miss major moments in their life. Thanks to technology, we can now include each other in things without physically being there. We can video conference, attend virtual events, and catch up with photos posted on social media. But when you love someone, and you haven’t seen them in ages, none of that can beat actually being there during the major moments in their life. When you live apart from them, you end up longing to be there for their birthdays, graduation, new job celebrations, and everything else. Similarly, you wish they could be there for yours.
- You have to rely on social media. Social media and technology become a necessity when you live away from your loved one. You have to rely on following each other and communicating through the phone rather than face-to-face. In these cases, apps like Snapchat and Facebook Messenger are a blessing, but they can also make things difficult. Social media can be very toxic and distracting, so having to constantly be surrounded by that just to keep up with the one you love can take its toll.
- You can’t share experiences with them. Not being able to share experiences with the person you love is one of the worst parts of being away from them. Whether it’s an exciting event like a friend’s wedding or something small like trying a new restaurant that just opened, it’s tough to have to do those fun things with others. Or alone. Sometimes, you end up missing out on fun things that you’d otherwise love to do because you don’t have your loved one there to share it.