A few years ago, I started dating my boss and no one in the office was allowed to know or we would have both lost our jobs. I was kinda freaked in the beginning that we wouldn’t be able to keep our relationship a secret, but it really wasn’t that bad. In fact, I actually sort of liked it.
It was kinda hot. Now I know why Romeo and Juliet is considered to be the greatest love story of all time. The fact that we had to keep our little fling a secret made everything more special. It also made us want each other all the time. We couldn’t just touch each other whenever we wanted—we had to wait until the opportune moment. When that moment came, things would get very intense…
It gave us time to decide what we wanted out of it. There are usually a bunch of worries and questions that come up in the beginning phases of a new relationship, but since we had to keep it on the DL, it felt kinda pointless to even bring those things up. I wasn’t wondering “what we were” or “where this was going” and I don’t think he was either. We were just enjoying the time we got to spend together. When we finally went public, we both said we wanted to stay together and it wasn’t just to make the other person happy.
I could still act like I was single. The coolest thing about this set-up is that I still got to go out with my single friends and pick up guys even though I was secretly attached. I never did anything with them, but it was fun to still be able to flirt.
I didn’t have to answer all those annoying questions you get when you first start dating someone. I was in an exciting new relationship and the best part was that I didn’t have to listen to all the annoying advice you get when you’re dating someone new. No one’s asking, “So, are you guys a thing?” I was so glad I didn’t have to deal with that kind of social pressure.
We avoided the cheesy Instagram pics. I’m wholly against Instagram. The only social media I have is Facebook and I barely post on it. I always cringe when I see couples post pics of themselves because it feels a bit braggy. It’s like, “OK, we get it. You like each other. Keep it in your photo gallery. We don’t need to see that.” I didn’t even get an opportunity to succumb to the inevitable cheesy Instagram pics this time around because no one was allowed to know about us. I was off the grid and loving it.
We got to share a lot of quality time. Since we had to keep everything under wraps, we spent a lot of time at each other’s apartments just hanging out, almost like we were in hiding. We had some cool conversations and really got to know each other quickly.
We weren’t forced to do everything together. When you first start dating someone new, there’s always pressure to go to every event together. You don’t want to hurt each other’s feelings, so of course you go to your new boyfriend’s niece’s baptism. Of course you go to your girlfriend’s beginner improv show. We couldn’t really be seen together so we didn’t have to drag each other to random, boring events. Score!
I would flirt to keep up appearances. I’m already a huge flirt, so this was no problem. We knew that people would suspect something if neither of us was showing interest in dating anymore, so we decided to overcompensate and flirt with everyone we crossed paths with. It was a blast.
It’s like we were half in and half out. I’m pretty apprehensive when it comes to new relationships. I always think the grass is greener in someone else’s arms, so the half-commitment we were making to each other really suited me. Obviously now I’m all-in, but at the time it felt good to keep one foot out the door while we got to know each other.
Now that we’re “out,” we have a special connection. It was almost as if this whole “keeping a secret” thing gave us something to focus on and work on as a team. To be honest, I’ve never been close to someone like this before. He’s no longer my boss and everyone knows we’re together, but the time we were incognito was actually kind of amazing.
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