Why Marrying Your First Love Is A Terrible Idea

Why Marrying Your First Love Is A Terrible Idea ©iStock/DragonImages

You met a boy, fell in love on your very first try and he’s still by your side. Sounds sweet, doesn’t it? Maybe, but did you really get lucky on your very first try, or are you just settling for whoever came first? Here’s why sticking with your first love is a big mistake:

  1. You never grow. You’ve been with and will be with the same person your whole life. So how are you supposed to grow as a person? Meeting new people and having new experiences changes you. It shapes you into who you are meant to be, but since you never gave anything or anyone else a chance, you’ll always just be standing still.
  2. You’re settling for something easy. You gave love a go and you didn’t fall flat on your face, but you also didn’t feel the rush of true love. You’ve never lost anything or been through a breakup, so you don’t know the risk involved in giving your heart to another person. This love might be easy, but when it comes to love, you should never want to take the easy way out.
  3. You haven’t had the chance to experience someone new. You don’t know what it’s like to say goodbye to someone you truly loved and hello to the potential of someone new. You experienced one set of butterflies, one first kiss, one sexual encounter and one real “I love you.” Every first you’ve experienced will be the last, and that’s super sad.
  4. You’ve never gone through heartbreak and come out the other side. Having your heart broken might suck, but it teaches you a lot. You know how risky love can be and you know the heart-wrenching act of when love doesn’t go the way you wanted it to. It’s something you just have to experience in order to grow and learn how to truly love. It’s a lesson every girl needs, but once you say, “I do,” you’ll never learn.
  5. You’ll never know what else is out there. And a piece of you will always wonder. You don’t know any other kinds of love, so how do you know this is the love you truly want? There are so many fish in the sea, and maybe there is a better fish out there for you, but you’ll never know. Sure, you have that diamond you always wanted on your finger, but it’s heartbreaking that you’ll never know what other diamonds might still be waiting in the rough.
  6. A divorce would be brutal. You might live happily ever after, but what if you don’t? You’ve never known anything else. This relationship is your whole world, and if that world comes crumbling down, how will you know how to pick up the pieces? You haven’t dated. You’ve only been with one man. So what now?
  7. There’s no passion. You don’t know ups and downs, so how do you know passion and spontaneity? Your first love, your only sexual partner (at least the only one you ever truly cared for), and it’s happy, it’s easy, but there’s no excitement. You don’t know the risk of losing him, so you don’t know the passion of getting to be with him everyday. It’s a pretty blah kind of love, but hey it’s your choice…
  8. You have nothing to compare your relationship to. You’ve only had one love, one relationship, so honestly that’s all you know. You don’t know what being with someone else is like. You’ve never experienced any other men. You may feel like you got lucky on your very first try, but if you have no bad luck to compare it to, then how special is it really?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.