I May Be Single AF But It’s Only Because I Put Myself First

Whether it’s a good or bad thing, I know I’m a little crazy about myself. I’m the most important person in my own life, and unfortunately, not everyone can handle that mentality. My intense self-love might keep me a very single lady, but this is why I’m not too upset about it:

  1. I need to make sure I’m okay. Blame it on an unstable childhood, but I’m always making sure I’m “good.” I spend a lot of my time making sure I feel emotionally, physically, and mentally fine. You could say I obsess over it, but I just think I’m THAT important.
  2. I’ll regret it if I don’t put myself first. I dread finding myself in the middle of a relationship only to suddenly “wake up” and find I’ve been wasting my time. Relationships will come in and out of your life. You don’t want to invest everything in your partner only to be left with nothing when the crap hits the fan.
  3. My freedom is super important to me. I’m the type of person who feels smothered very easily when I’m in a relationship. I need to feel like I can do whatever I want, whenever I want; otherwise, I get a little stir-crazy. I could never be with a guy who tried to control any aspect of my life, and sadly, that’s the type I seem to attract.
  4. I want to make a mark on the world. I have BIG plans for myself. Call me crazy, but for me, it’s more important to spend my time cultivating a career than to scroll through dating apps. Turning my life into something great comes first; any relationship business can follow that.
  5. I’m at that age where I can be selfish, so why not? I have literally nothing to be responsible for except maybe paying my internet bill on time. When you’re in your twenties, it’s all about you. This is the time to grab life by the horns and do whatever it is that makes you excited and happy. It’s a time to figure out who you want to be and what kind of life you want to live, and I’m going to take advantage of it.
  6. According to me, I’m always right. I have an incredibly stubborn spirit, and I’m not willing to compromise if it means I’ll be unhappy. Unfortunately, though, his kind of attitude doesn’t exactly go over well when you’re in a relationship. My know-it-all ways might not get me a boyfriend anytime soon, but I don’t see them going away at any point in the near future.
  7. I believe that relationships are opportunities to grow. Some people see relationships as a sanctuary of comfort and everlasting love, but I see relationships as a chance to learn from someone. Is that selfish? Maybe. For me, relationships are more like an intense college course than a fairy tale, and I’m fine with that.
  8. I think about myself constantly. Some might call it selfish, but I consider it to be looking out for my best interests. I’m always wondering how different things will affect me and pondering how I can make my own life better. These thoughts are non-stop. When you’re THIS obsessed with yourself, it’s kind of hard to think about anything but your own wellbeing.
  9. I’m not the kind of girl who “loses herself” in relationships. As a person who is self-obsessed, I tend to keep one foot in and one foot out. You’ll never find me dropping everything to move halfway across the country just to be with my soulmate. I have too much crap to do.
  10. It’s either all or nothing. I’m not the type of person who settles for less just because I can. If the relationship isn’t working, I don’t just stick around because I’m scared to be alone. If I can’t find someone who makes me the happiest woman in the world, I’d rather focus all my effort and love on myself.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.