You May Have Broken Up With Me, But You Didn’t Break Me

I got a text in the middle of the night a full year and a half after you broke up with me. You were apologizing for “breaking” me when you ended things. The apology is nice, I guess, but it means a lot less considering that you were definitely drunk when you sent it. Also, WTF is up with this idea that just because we broke up, I have to be broken? Yeah, sure, I cried when it happened and felt bad for a few months afterward, but I’ve moved past it. Nowhere in the post-breakup-blues was I ever broken.

My heart is stronger than that.

It would take more than one break up to ruin my heart forever. Frankly, you don’t have the power over me to break me irreparably, and you never did. No one has that much sway over my soul.

Yeah, you treated me like dirt.

But I’ve moved past that. I had to come to terms with it, and it did take some time for me to do that. But that’s normal, and healthy, and a good thing. Me being mad at you was just a phase, and it resolved itself as I moved on and away from the part of my life that you mattered in.

I forgave you long ago.

Not that I needed to, or that you deserve it, but I just wasn’t going to carry  that hurt around anymore. It’s not necessary for me to hate you, even if you think it is. I don’t have any bad feelings towards you; in fact, I even wish you well. It’s called being the bigger person.

I’m sure you feel bad.

But that means nothing to me now. The magnitude of your guilt in no way correlates to the size of my heartbreak over it. The proof is in the fact that you’re still brewing in your feelings about it years later, and I’m living my life, never thinking of you at all.

It happened, it’s over, and I’m done.

I know the last image you have of me in your mind is probably one of me crying on the floor as you left, but I didn’t stay that way. I picked myself up and got over it, one day at a time. I was never going to stay that crying girl on the ground, and it’s a shame that you think you’re powerful enough to cause that effect. Women are much stronger than that.

I was never alone without you.

I’ve got amazing friends who were there to support me after you walked away. In fact, they even helped me see how much better off I was without you. You leaving me didn’t make me lonely. In fact, it made me less so, because my friends surrounded me right when I needed them.

Just how fragile do you think I am?

I am not a porcelain doll filled with feelings that might spill out if you shatter me. I’m a strong individual who manages her own stuff. A break-up doesn’t define me anymore than it defines you, and I’m guessing you don’t think of yourself solely in the terms of “ex-boyfriend.” I’m more than your ex, even if you can’t see that. So you can save your apologies; I don’t need them.

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