I May Not Have A Boyfriend But I’ve Got Something Even Better: No Drama

People keep asking me if I’m unhappy being single, but the truth is, I couldn’t be happier without a boyfriend in my life. My last few relationships have been so volatile that I’m so over all the drama involved. Being on my own is loads better than having to deal with emotional turmoil, confusion, and aggro. I’m sure I’ll want a boyfriend someday but for now, I’m perfectly happy being drama-free.

  1. I CAN DO MY OWN THING WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE’S FEELINGS. Being alone means I can do what I want whenever I want without having to factor in someone else’s schedule, preferences, and demands. Friction? Compromises? Not for this gal! After some of the relationships I’ve had, this freedom is more than refreshing.
  2. I’M NOT AT THE MERCY OF ANYONE ELSE’S MOODS. Dealing with my own moods is bad enough, thanks. I love not having to factor in anyone else’s. No more worrying about another person’s state of mind at any given point and having to change plans, adjust my own behavior or deal with someone else’s grumpiness. Caring about someone means being there for them and being affected by their moods, but boy is it nice to just not have to deal with that every once in a while.
  3. I DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT SOMEONE LIKES ME ALL THE TIME. Anxiety? I have plenty of it. When I’m in a relationship I’m always worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing. It takes me ages to relax into it and accept that that person is likely to stick around. Sometimes it’s nice to… just not have to do that. There are definitely advantages to being alone.
  4. MY HORMONES ARE BALANCED. If I’m having sex, I need to be having regular sex for my hormones not to throw me out of whack. But guess what? If I’m not having sex at all, my hormones balance out after a while and I don’t miss it. Balanced hormones mean no drama. Being on my own means no drama. There’s much to be said for being in this place.
  5. I’M NOT CONSTANTLY WORRYING ABOUT WHEN HE’S GOING TO CALL OR TEXT. I used to spend so much time just looking at my phone and waiting. Now I just enjoy my life, spend time with my friends and do stuff that’s actually important. I know that as soon as I start dating again, I’ll be right back there waiting for a text. For now, I can totally do without that.
  6. IF I WANT TO BE ALONE, I DON’T OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION. I like my own space. When I’m in a relationship, it’s harder for me to find the time and space to myself. When I’m on my own, I can just be alone whenever I want without worrying about offending anyone or hurting a guy’s feelings.
  7. NO FIGHTS! Yes, I know that relationships aren’t all about fighting, but no relationship = no fighting. You have to compromise when you’re in a relationship and if you don’t, you’ll end up in a fight. I just want to live my life the way I want without worrying about whether it’s going to start a fight or a “serious talk.” Being on my own just keeps things perfectly simple and hassle-free.
  8. NO RELATIONSHIP TALKS, DEFINING EXPECTATIONS OR WONDERING WHERE I STAND. Dating is drama. I’m fed up of getting excited about someone just to find out that he wants an open relationship, is looking for something casual or, at the other extreme, wants to get married straight away. So many questions to be asked, talks to be had and generally a lot of time spent dealing with expectations, feelings, and definitions. I know these are all important parts of eventually finding someone, but at this moment in time, I would really rather not.
  9. IF I WANT COMPANY, I CAN GET COMPANY WITHOUT THE DRAMA. I have friends, I know where to find casual sex if I really want it. What I don’t need right now is commitment. My life at the moment is perfect the way it is and it’s very rare that I feel lonely (and if I do, I just meet up with a friend!).
  10. I CAN GET SO MUCH MORE DONE. Keeping relationship drama out of my life has given me so much free time, I almost don’t know what to do with it. But more importantly, it’s given me the right headspace to actually get shit done. No more daydreaming at work, no more spending nights at home because I’m too anxious and worried about a relationship to go out and enjoy myself. I can work harder and play harder without anything taking focus away from the things that really matter to me.
  11. WATCHING PEOPLE IN RELATIONSHIPS INVEST SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY INTO TRYING TO MAKE IT WORK JUST MAKES ME WANT TO STAY SINGLE FOREVER. We have friends who seem to stay together by sheer inertia. They are constantly fighting, they are always miserable, but they are so afraid of making a change in their lives that they seem to stay together forever anyway. I still remember when I used to be like this, but now that I’m single, I couldn’t be happier. I seriously don’t miss the drama at all.
Writer, artist, intrepid traveler and lover of cats, cheese and techno music. Preferably not all at the same time.