You May Think You Love Him, But If He Isn’t Making You Happy, Leave

You May Think You Love Him, But If He Isn’t Making You Happy, Leave ©iStock/Georgijevic

Maybe you can’t help who you fall in love with, but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with a guy’s BS or a relationship that makes you unhappy just because you have feelings for him. Sure, you care about him, but if he doesn’t treat you right, you don’t have to stay.

  1. You deserve to receive as much love as you give. You keep pining after him, but he’ll never love you the way you want him to or the way you deserve. If you’re giving him your all and getting only half-assed efforts in returns, screw that. You don’t have to be the girl begging a man to love her — to the right guy, it’ll come naturally.
  2. You might love him, but that doesn’t mean he’s “The One.” Most women fall in love with other guys before they actually meet their future husbands. It’s love and it’s real, but it’s not true love and it certainly isn’t meant to last long-term. If he doesn’t make you happier than you’ve ever felt before; if he’s not everything you ever wanted; if you’re still dreaming of someone else — he’s not “The One” and you’re just settling for the sake of it.
  3. If he doesn’t feel lucky to be with you then he doesn’t deserve to be. You consider yourself lucky to have found him, but does he feel the same way? The guy you give your heart to should appreciate how wonderful you are and make you feel like you’re loved and valued. Does he make you feel special? Can he picture his life without you? The answer to those questions should tell you a lot.
  4. A man who really loves you will treat you right. He treats you poorly and you justify his actions by telling yourself that you could be a better girlfriend. That’s not how love works. If he really loves you then you should never feel like you’re not enough. No matter what he says, you don’t deserve to be treated like crap and if you’re really that bad of a girlfriend, why is he still with you? Every relationship has its issues, but those should never have an effect on how you treat one another as partners and human beings.
  5. No matter how much you love him, you shouldn’t have to settle. You need a guy who’ll move mountains for you, not expect you to accept his bare minimum. Real relationships take work, and if he really loves you then he’ll make an effort without you having to ask. No one should be settling for someone who’s too lazy to even try. When you love someone, you want to go the extra mile just to make them happy. Is he willing to do that for you?
  6. Your relationship shouldn’t be all about him. What about what YOU want? Who’s there to care about you? You’re just as important in this relationship as he is. You don’t need a guy who’s only willing to be your boyfriend at his own convenience. He’s only there for you when it works into his schedule, but somehow you’re always there for him. You have needs too, and they’re just as important as his.
  7. You need a guy you can trust. That should be the foundation of your relationship. You deserve honesty, and you deserve a guy who makes you feel confident that he would never betray you. You can’t keep justifying his mistakes. You might be afraid of the truth, but it’s time to face it. If you can’t trust him then you shouldn’t be with him  — and if he doesn’t care when he hurts you then it’s not real love in the first place.
  8. Real love doesn’t make you miserable. You love him, sure, but sometimes love isn’t enough. Are you happy that you found him or are you just happy that you don’t have to spend the rest of your days being single? You could be perfectly content with a “decent” man, but true love should leave you more than just content. You can find happiness, but you have to drop the dead weight first.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.