Maybe You’re Not Ready For A Serious Relationship & That’s OK

Maybe You’re Not Ready For A Serious Relationship & That’s OK ©iStock/ gpointstudio

While it may seem like everyone you know is settling is totally in love and in a serious long-term relationship, there are still plenty of us who aren’t necessarily “relationship material” at the moment. That doesn’t mean you’ll be single forever, but you realize that getting involved in some whirlwind romance isn’t in the cards at the moment, and that’s OK. Not sure if you’re ready to find love at the moment? Here are a few signs you might be better off rolling solo for the time being:

  1. You’re still getting over a serious relationship. You’re sad, angry, and you’ve gained 10 pounds. You still want to text him, but know you shouldn’t. It’s understandable, but there’s no sense getting into a new relationship when you’re still carrying baggage from your last one.  Give yourself time to heal so that your next relationship stands the best possible chance of succeeding.
  2. You still can’t financially support yourself.  Everyone goes through their 20s living paycheck to paycheck; that’s a given. But getting into a relationship where you develop a financial dependence right away is never a good idea. Never depend on anyone else to cover your rent or pay your bills, because it’ll always end in disaster. Be fully self-sufficient before getting involved with someone.
  3. You’re planning a major career move. If you just met Joe on Saturday night and decided to make a career change and quit your job on Wednesday, maybe wait a few months before going on a second date. Let yourself settle down and figure out what’s going on. If your career move could possibly require a move, don’t put any energy into a new relationship since you’ll be wasting your time and his. Commit your energy where it needs to be at the moment.
  4. You’re emotionally unstable. It’s one thing to be emotional every now and then; it’s completely different if your true happiness doesn’t come from within yourself. No one should rely on another person to bring them happiness. It’s an unfair expectation and unfair to both of you. You should be able to support yourself emotionally before you enter a relationship. If not, ask yourself what you’re bringing to the table. If it’s emotional instability, you’re not ready. Take some time to learn about yourself before you expect someone else to do so.
  5. You’re still figuring yourself and your life out. Maybe you want to be a writer or run a museum, or maybe you want to go back to school. All of those things are awesome, but if you enter into a serious relationship with a person who’s already settled down, he may want someone who is ready to settle down, too. That might not be you right now, and that’s OK.
  6. You’re happy being single right now. Serious relationships are a lot of work, and they take up a lot of your time. If you’re not ready to give up your time and put in the work, you’re not ready. You don’t need to waste anyone’s time, least of all your own, if you’re completely happy being single right now. Just do you for a while, and look for love (or let it come to you) when you’re more open to it.
  7. You’re still involved with an ex. This may seem like a no brainer, but nowadays, this isn’t so obvious. There are many different ways one could still be involved with an ex: casual sex, drunken texts or calls (from either party), casual hangouts, puppy visitation… the list goes on and on. All are signs that it’s not yet time to jump into another serious relationship. Return to #1.
  8. You’re not ready to be honest with yourself about who you are. There are people in this world who simply don’t belong in a relationship, either at all or with just one person. That’s OK. The idea of monogamy If you’re not ready to be honest about who you are, you’re not ready for a serious relationship. Love yourself for who you are, and other people will, too.
Kasandra Lynn is a freelance writer and blogger living in a small town. She is an aspiring novelist with a BA in English, has completed 2 novels, writes for multiple non-profit organizations and gets her blog,, published in a weekly column for her local newspaper.