Me & All My Friends Are Single — WTF Is Going On?

My BFFs are some of the most important people in the world to me, and as it turns out, all but one are single. We share our dating stories along with drinks and unfortunately think that bad dates are the norm, not the exception. But we’re all pretty fed up at this point and don’t get why things look so bleak. My friends and I definitely deserve love, so why can’t we have it?

  1. We’ve put in the time. We’re getting out there, going on dates and meeting new guys all the time. We’ve been ghosted, we’ve done the ghosting, we’ve gone on second dates we weren’t sure about, we’ve had a string of only first dates. We’ve experienced a lot of crappy stuff and we believe that we’ve put in the time. So why isn’t it working out?
  2. We try to stay positive. It’s not like we’re crying and whining every day of our lives. We’re trying our best to be in a good mood as often as possible, we’re enjoying our lives, and we’re not letting dating get us down — but we can’t help but wonder why a positive attitude doesn’t seem to be getting results in the love department. It seems like the two should totally go hand-in-hand.
  3. We know who we want. We each might have our own ideas of our dream person, but for the most part, we all want the same thing: a good person with a work ethic and a sense of humor. Oh, and being super cute wouldn’t hurt, either. But if we know the kind of people that we want to be with, why can’t we find them? Isn’t that the first and most important step?
  4. We have smart rules. We don’t believe in dating without a set of rules — realistic ones, of course. We don’t reschedule with guys who bail on the first date and we don’t deal with people who message for days without agreeing to meet in person. But it’s like all those rules don’t even matter at all because here we are, still single.
  5. We support each other. When one of us has a first date, we’re always there to be super supportive, hoping that it goes well. We cheer each other on and always believe that moving forward and trying is the best policy. However, it gets us nowhere because each date seems worse than the last, and that’s pretty confusing.
  6. We keep coming back. Every time we swear to each other that we’re never, ever going to date ever again, we try again. Something, whether it’s hope or optimism or just plain innocence, keeps us coming back. That should count for something, right?
  7. We’re realistic. We don’t expect miracles, marriage or even a second date. We’re realistic about timelines and expectations. We’re not naive and we don’t think that every guy doesn’t want to marry us ASAP, so why is it so hard to find a decent guy? It’s not like we’re reaching for the stars here. We just want a normal person who can get along with and talk to.
  8. We’ve waited long enough. People are always acting like being patient and waiting for that special someone is going to be worth it in the end, but we’ve already waited. At this point, we’re pretty much sick and tired of waiting.
  9. We really want love. It sucks that we want something that we can’t get. We have everything else that matters to us, from our thriving careers to our fun lives. We don’t mean to complain or anything, but really, dating and getting nowhere frustrates us to no end and we don’t think we’re the only ones.
  10. We’re the girls that guys should want to date. We’re smart, funny, and we want our own lives. We’re not going to force a guy into spending 24/7 with us and we’ve been through enough heartache and weird situations to know that good guys aren’t worth taking for granted. We’re basically the exact girls that guys should date, so why are we still single? It’s a mystery to us too.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.