I’ve gotta be honest, I’m so sick of getting my hopes up when I meet a guy who sounds great, only to realize what a complete and utter waste of time he is only a few days later. I try to be optimistic, to believe that good guys are still out there and I stand every chance of meeting one if I just stay positive, but I feel like I’m constantly being proven wrong. It’s seriously getting me down these days.
- It always starts off so well. Despite how many terrible dating experiences I’ve had over the years, I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic so I can’t help but still hope for the best and give guys the benefit of the doubt. Miraculously, I haven’t become cynical at all (well, not really) and no matter how frustrated I get by men, I really do believe my guy is out there. I feel like if you have a negative energy, there’s no way you’ll ever find what you’re looking for. You attract what you put out there, you know?
- I tell myself not to get too excited but I can’t help it. The logical side of my brain tells me that I need to sort of rein myself in and not get ahead of myself when I meet someone I like, but I can’t help it. I’m somewhat picky in what I’m looking for, as I think everyone is, so when I start chatting to a guy who seems like he’d be great for me and vice versa, I can’t help but want to throw myself in head-first.
- Inevitably, the guy does something to deflate the whole thing. We’ll start chatting on a Monday and I’m all hyped up to meet this guy for a date over the weekend, but by the time we get to Thursday, I’m like, “Well, that was another waste of time.” That’s because I’ll suddenly see some GLARING red flag that’s basically a major warning sign not to go anywhere near him. All that excitement and hope I had just go right out the window. Again.
- Guys are really good at pretending to be someone they’re not. I know that women are capable of this deception as well, but with guys, it just feels much more nefarious. In my experience, about 75% or more of what guys write on their online dating profiles is complete and utter bullsh-t. However, they’ll literally have full-blown conversations with you acting as if everything they’ve said in their bios/profiles is completely true. When you catch them in a lie, they really don’t know what to say.
- They’re happy to say things they don’t mean if they think it will get them what they want. Obviously, the motivation for doing this is often to get laid. Guys think that if they make themselves out as your personal Prince Charming, you’ll believe it enough to have sex with them on the first date. If it doesn’t work, you’ll likely get called a tease and/or they’ll never talk to you again. That’s bad enough, but what’s worse is that they don’t seem to have any qualms with lying straight to your face if it thinks it’ll have the intended effect.
- They expect you to accept the bare minimum and never call them out on their crap. To be fair, I have actually chatted to guys whose profiles were legit. They were honest about what they put on there and what you saw was pretty much what you got. However, that alone wasn’t enough to make them worthwhile. They inevitably always ended up being really lazy/nonchalant and expected me to put in all the effort. When I would say as much, I would get told I was “crazy” and no wonder I was single because I’m “way too desperate.” Uh… okay!
- They ghost you just when things are getting good. There’s no worse feeling than getting excited about a guy who’s honest, straightforward, puts in the effort, and really seems to like me… only for him to ghost you just before you’re about to meet up. You wouldn’t think it happens all that often, but I’m telling you, it does. It’s so annoying and disheartening, but I’m not going to give up.
