Why Men Don’t Always Want the “Cool Girl”

Every man wants the “cool girl”, right? She’s subservient without being resentful. She eats hot dogs without gaining weight. She plays video games, curses, screams… without ever getting mad or seeming too unfeminine. She’s a walking contradiction in every possible way and seemingly impossible to nail down. But not to worry – not all men want her, and here’s why:

Showing emotion shows that you actually give a crap.

Anger can be a sign that a woman cares. If the “cool girl” never gets angry – ever – does she really care about him? Sometimes a lack of emotion can be taken to mean that you’re not emotionally invested in a relationship.

Being too “cool” can make him feel self-conscious.

No one is too cool for emotions, but the “cool girl” stereotype seems to be. Men have emotions too, and the “cool girl” who avoids showing hers will make her partner feel even more self-conscious when he’s not feeling so hot.

She has her own version of drama.

When men cite the “cool girl” as the perfect partner, what they’re really saying is that you don’t start drama. But the reality is that everyone brings their own stuff to the table. Women that are “cooler” than their female friends tend to bring their unique version of drama. Whether it’s jealous exes, females who love to hate them, or uncomfortable family relationships – they’ve all got their own baggage. No one’s immune to it.

She tends to resist the conventional.

Some men actually do dream of having a family and kids, and the “cool girl” type tends to resist that notion because it’s too “boring” for her. She might not want to settle down or might not think she’s mother material because she’s too into “doing her own thing”.

Being hot is subjective.

What does “hot” even really mean? Not all men necessarily consider being a size 2 as hot. So yes, being sexually attracted to your partner is important, but it’s up to the individual to figure out what that really means.

“Cool Girls” aren’t even real.

Last but definitely not least, let’s face facts: “cool girls” simply don’t exist. I’ve been a “cool girl” and now I’m not. Why? Because it was a phase. Being a “cool girl” is a time in your life where you don’t know where you fit, where you juggle with gender roles and your relationship to them until you find a comfortable middle ground. The stereotype is just that: a stereotype. Sure, there are women that might lean towards these characteristics, but no one ever fits a stereotype perfectly – nor should anyone expect them to.

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