Men, Here’s The Idiot’s Guide To Consent

It’s not all that hard to tell when we want to have sex and when we want to be left the hell alone. Of course, some of you men still don’t understand the idea of consent. Well, it’s time for that to change, because no woman deserves to be mistreated by a man. Here’s the idiot’s guide to consent for any confused guys that are still out there:

  1. No means no. If we turn you down when you ask us back to your place, don’t pressure us to change our mind. We shouldn’t have to say no more than once to get our point across.
  2. Alcohol isn’t your wingman. Don’t buy us drinks with the intent of getting us tipsy. If we need to be wasted to agree to sleep with you, then you’re taking advantage of us.
  3. We can still stop you in the middle of sex. Even if we let you into our bedroom, get undressed, and climb on top of you, we can still change our mind. If we tell you to stop in the middle of sex, then you’re meant to stop.
  4. Dating you doesn’t automatically give you consent. You don’t get to sleep with us whenever you want, just because you’re our boyfriend. You need consent, just like anyone else.
  5. It doesn’t matter what we’re wearing. We’re not asking for attention when we wear yoga pants and low-cut tops. Our clothing choices can’t change the fact that we’re human beings that deserve your respect.
  6. Consent for one thing doesn’t mean consent for everything. If we give you permission to go down on us, it doesn’t mean we’re giving you permission to perform butt sex. You need to get permission for each individual activity. You can’t just group them all together.
  7. Underage girls can’t give consent. It doesn’t matter if a high school girl is begging for you to bang her. If we’re underage, then we can’t legally give our consent, which means you need to stay away.
  8. Kisses need consent, too. Sex isn’t the only thing that you need to get consent for. You need consent to date us, to kiss us, and to touch us, as well.
  9. We say what we mean. It doesn’t matter if you think our actions are telling you to go for it, because if our mouths are telling you to get away, you need to get away. If we wanted to sleep with you, we wouldn’t lie about it.
  10. We need your consent, too. Even though most of us believe that men are always in the mood for sex, that doesn’t mean that we can have you whenever we please. We understand that you need to give consent, too.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.