All couples fight. It’s normal and healthy to get things off your chest every now and then. But if your man is fighting dirty, chances are you’re just going to get angrier instead of resolving anything. If your boyfriend has any of these argument tactics in his arsenal, get prepared for every minor disagreement to turn into World War III.
Deflection. Men love to try to distract you from your original point by changing or warping the argument. If you’ve argued down a crazy tangent and have no idea how you got there, he’s successfully deflected you.
Self-deprecation. Self-deprecation can be used as a way to appeal to your nurturing side. He starts putting himself down during an argument and suddenly you are tabling your anger and comforting him instead of resolving your real issues.
Patching things up with sex. There’s nothing wrong with taking a sex break in the middle of an argument, but that’s not a solution to your problems. You’re only avoiding the real task of working things out.
Holding you accountable for his actions. Examples: “Maybe I wouldn’t have been such a jerk when we got home last night if you had paid more attention to me while we were out.” “I was only flirting with that girl because I saw you liked your ex’s photo on Instagram.” “You know I get mean when I drink whiskey. Why did you let me do that?” You are not responsible for anything he says or does. Even if you were behaving poorly, that does not excuse more bad behavior from him. If he tries to put everything on you, you’ll always end up being the bad guy.
Asking if it’s that time of the month. Asking a woman if it’s that time of the month during an argument is essentially telling her that her feelings aren’t valid. Even when a guy doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong, he should at least acknowledge your feelings and validate your anger.
Using your words out of context. Does your guy ever bring up something you said 6 months ago, totally out of context, and act like that just ended the argument? He might even pull up a text or email and submit it as evidence. He cannot “win” an argument by using your words against you.
Insulting you logic abilities. “You’re only angry because you’re not thinking this through logically.” Nope, my logic is working just fine. Women are absolutely capable of rational thought during an argument, and it’s so insulting to say anything otherwise.
Blaming your feelings on a past bad relationship. Nobody should use intimate secrets you shared about a past relationship as ammo against you during a fight. Just because you had a bad ex doesn’t mean you‘re carrying all those feelings over to a new relationship. You have the right to get upset in a good relationship, too.
Deliberately upsetting you. Men can be great at pushing your buttons when you’re heated. Once you’re super pissed, your valid points become over shadowed by the mean, angry stuff that’s coming out of your mouth. Now you’re the loser.
Exaggerating your point. Maybe you’re annoyed that he hasn’t taken the garbage out in a few weeks. Instead of just saying he’ll try to split the chores more evenly in the future, he’ll say something like, “Yeah I’ve never taken the garbage out. I don’t even know where the garbage can is. What’s a garbage bag? I just throw trash on the floor and roll around in it, since you think I’m such a slob.” Simmer down, dude. This is an attempt to put you in a defensive position, because now you are denying saying those things about him. If you’ve already made your point, don’t let him throw you off track.
Calling it even. He can’t just demand that you call it even because you’ve done something to upset him in the past.
Walking away. They’ve decided the argument is over. They made the decision all on their own about when and where you two can argue, without any compromise with you. Infuriating.