What Men Really Mean When They Say You’re Intimidating

Raise your hand if you’re been called “intimidating” by the opposite sex at least once before. Both hands are probably raised, right? It’s super frustrating, annoying and also pretty patronizing. There’s nothing wrong with being a strong, independent woman — what, do these guys want to date a total wallflower with zero opinions? Here’s what guys are really thinking when they throw this supposed insult your way:

  1. They feel small when they’re with you. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” and that’s something these guys should realize. When they say you intimidate them, they’re saying they’re crazy insecure. They feel small when they’re with you and like they’re no longer masculine. If a guy has a problem with strong women, you should run in the other direction and fast.
  2. They’re afraid they won’t measure up. They think they’re not good enough for you. Rather than wait around to find out if you two are a love match, they’d rather say you’re intimidating and then bail.
  3. They think you’re judging them. Some guys seem to think that you’re going to just start insulting them if you don’t agree with their life or career choices. Not sure why, because of course you’re more polite than that. Again, it’s their own insecurity.
  4. You’re too smart for them. You welcome an intelligent, ambitious guy — you probably wouldn’t even date someone who didn’t have those qualities. You’re definitely way too smart for someone who doesn’t like your ambition. You’re staying this way forever so someone has to accept that or you’re moving on.
  5. They want to be right 100 percent of the time. No one — absolutely no one — is always right and yet this kind of guy believes he is. They won’t stand for an opinion that isn’t their own and so there will be no room for your own brain in this relationship.
  6. They have too much pride. Proud men are the worst because they’ll never apologize and they’ll never listen.
  7. They want to control you. They don’t respect you (or anyone that isn’t their own face looking back at them in the mirror) so they’ll try to control every situation, including the logistics of your date. At first you’ll be glad someone else is making an effort but then you’ll realize this is actually bad.
  8. They’ll always be jealous of you. Forget a super supportive boyfriend who cheers you on and celebrates your accomplishments — these guys will never be happy for you. They’ll just put you down and say you didn’t do something the correct way.
  9. They’re not into a relationship. Sometimes a guy will act like he’s super intimidated by you because he’s just not in the market for something serious and he gets the sense that you are. That’s just as frustrating, of course. If everyone could just tell it like it is, dating would be a whole lot easier. Since it looks like that’s not happening anytime soon, just know that when a guy calls you intimidating, you get the last laugh.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.