If you’re a straight woman in the dating world, you’ve probably met your fair share of men for whom “effort” seems a foreign concept.
These guys treat relationships like they’re optional side quests in the game of life. If you’re dealing with one of these characters, buckle up – it’s going to be a bumpy (and probably one-sided) ride.
1. They’re allergic to planning.
Ask them to plan a date, and suddenly, they’ve got the organizational skills of a goldfish. “Let’s just wing it” is their motto, which really means “You do all the work.” They’re not spontaneous; they’re just lazy. Planning requires effort, and effort is not in their vocabulary when it comes to relationships.
2. Their texting game is weaker than gas station coffee.
“K” is their favorite response. They’ll leave you on read for days, then hit you with a “sup” at 2 AM. It’s not that they’re busy; they just can’t be bothered to engage in actual conversation. They treat communication like it’s a chore, not a vital part of a relationship.
3. They’re emotional camels.
Getting them to express feelings is like trying to squeeze water from a stone. They’ll go months without a single meaningful conversation, then wonder why you’re frustrated. Emotional intimacy? That’s for other people. They’re perfectly content living in their emotional desert.
4. Their idea of romance is Netflix and actually chilling.
Candlelit dinners? Surprise gifts? Forget about it. Their idea of romance is letting you pick what to watch on Netflix – if you’re lucky. They’ve mistaken minimal effort for being “chill,” and they think that’s enough to sustain a relationship.
5. They’re professional ghosters.
One minute they’re there, the next they’ve vanished like a magician’s assistant. They’ll reappear weeks later with a casual “Hey” like nothing happened. They treat your time and emotions like they’re disposable, popping in and out of your life at their convenience.
6. They’ve got commitment-phobia.
Asking them to commit is like asking a cat to fetch – theoretically possible, but highly unlikely. They’ll dodge labels and future talk like they’re playing emotional dodgeball. “Why do we need to define things?” is their favorite deflection.
7. They’re selective listeners.
You could tell them your deepest fears or greatest dreams, and they’d respond with, “Huh? Oh, yeah.” But mention something they’re interested in, and suddenly, they’ve got superhuman hearing. They listen only when it benefits them, treating your words like background noise.
8. They’re allergic to anniversaries.
Remembering important dates? That’s not in their skill set. They’ll forget your birthday, your anniversary, and probably their own mother’s birthday too. It’s not that they have bad memory; they just don’t prioritize these relationship milestones.
9. They’re experts at deflecting responsibility.
When problems arise, they’ve got an Olympic-level talent for dodging blame. It’s always someone else’s fault, or just “bad timing.” They refuse to acknowledge their role in relationship issues, treating accountability like it’s radioactive.
10. They’re emotionally unavailable.
Trying to connect with them emotionally is like trying to hug a cactus – prickly and unsatisfying. They keep their feelings under lock and key, and they’ve swallowed the key. They mistake emotional unavailability for strength, leaving their partners feeling lonely even when they’re together.
11. They’re “too busy” for relationship maintenance.
Ask them to work on the relationship, and suddenly, their schedule is packed tighter than a clown car. They’ve always got time for their hobbies or friends, but relationship work? That’s apparently a time-luxury they can’t afford.
12. They’re masters of the bare minimum.
They’ll do just enough to keep you around, but not enough to make you feel valued. It’s like they’re playing a game of “How little can I do and still call this a relationship?” They’ve turned putting in minimal effort into an art form.
13. They’re selfish in the sack.
Their bedroom motto is “Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.” Your pleasure is about as important to them as the instruction manual for a microwave. They treat intimacy like a solo sport, not a team effort.
14. They’re chronic flakers.
Making plans with them is like trying to nail jelly to a wall. They’ll cancel at the last minute or just not show up, with excuses flimsier than dollar store toilet paper. They don’t value your time or the plans you make together.
15. They’re emotional vampires.
They’ll suck up all your emotional energy without giving anything back. They’re happy to let you be their therapist, cheerleader, and life coach, but don’t expect them to reciprocate. They treat the relationship like it’s a one-way street, and they’re always in the receiving lane.
16. They’re allergic to “we” talk.
Everything is “me, myself, and I” with these guys. They’ll talk about their future, their goals, their dreams – but “we” isn’t in their vocabulary. They’re living their life, and you’re just a spectator.
17. They’re convenience daters.
They’ll be all in when it’s easy and fun, but the moment things require real effort, they’re out faster than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. They want the perks of a relationship without any of the work.
18. They’re experts at moving goalposts.
Just when you think you’ve met their standards or expectations, they’ll move the goalposts. It’s never enough because they’re not actually interested in building a real relationship. They’re just keeping you around for their own convenience.
