So, I Met This Guy… Nevermind, He Ended Up Being Another Disappointment

Have you ever met someone awesome and told everyone about them, only for them to disappear from your life not long after? Well, this happens to me all of the time. Usually, I’m just dating someone and my big mouth tells everyone before we even know if we’re compatible.

  1. I’m a serial dater. I go on date after date and date with person after person (mostly guys, but the occasional lady too). I’ve gone on more dates than anyone I know. It’s pretty out of hand, actually. There’s generally always been someone in my life in some capacity.
  2. My relationships never last lately. Years ago, I was in one long-term relationship after another. Nowadays, though, my relationships hardly last a month. I average being with someone for about three to six weeks. I’ll get all worked up about this person only for it to come to a screeching halt before it really takes off. I’m definitely left regularly saying “nevermind” to everyone around me that heard all about this person.
  3. I get really excited about people quickly. I get super excited when I’m with someone new. I see all of the good things about them and I blow those qualities up, making the person larger than life. Of course, I want to talk to my friends about them because I think they’re just the greatest thing. I really let my excitement carry me away instead of living in the present moment.
  4. My friends hear all about it. My poor friends get to hear all about whoever my flavor of the week is. I talk their ears off about how excited I am and they’re generally great about it. I have good friends. They don’t tell me he’s probably going to be gone in a week even though it’s true. They’re also used to hearing the “nevermind” and they don’t say “I told you so.”
  5. I probably sleep with them too soon. In an ideal world, I would wait for weeks, even months to sleep with someone. In my reality, however, it happens very quickly. I sometimes sleep with them on the first or second date or within the very first few weeks of dating. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this except that I don’t think it’s getting me what I desire which is a nice and healthy LTR. Waiting to sleep with them would give me a better chance.
  6. I want so badly for it to work out. I have the best of intentions every time. I want to behave in the best way possible and make the person fall in love with me so they’ll stick around. I desperately want a partner where it will just work out and it’ll be happy ever after. That just hasn’t been my experience in recent years, though. I’ll keep dreaming.
  7. I think I project too far into the future. I think I know who’s going to stick. I imagine our future life together and get carried away with fantasizing/projecting into the future. In doing so, I’m swept away by thinking, right out of the present moment. I’m not even living a life with this person, I’m dreaming about what could be. I definitely could benefit from keeping my head outside of the clouds and looking at where my feet are.
  8. I worry I’m incapable of having an LTR. All of this serial dating BS has me thinking that there’s something fundamentally wrong with me. I low-key worry that I’ll never be able to have an LTR, that I’ll forever be chasing boy after boy. I know this is crap, though—I can’t be broken. I’m a lovable human being worthy of love. I have to shut down those voices in my head telling me I’m not good enough.
  9. Someone will stick someday. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I don’t think I can be stuck in this pattern forever. I think something’s got to give, eventually, someone will stick. I will have an actual relationship someday and this pattern will stop haunting me. It may last for a little while longer first.
  10. I can’t be the only one with this experience. Sometimes I feel totally crazy, but I know I can’t be the only one who’s experiencing this. I mean, there’s a meme that says “I met someone!” then two days later “nevermind.” If a meme exists, there have to be lots of other people having these feelings. I’ll find peace and comfort in that.
  11. I’m taking a break. This may come as a surprise, but lately, I have actually been single. I’m taking a break from dating because my tactics obviously aren’t working for me. I’m going to refresh over the course of a few months, maybe a whole year, then I’m going to try to start dating again. Hopefully, “nevermind” will make itself scarce in my vocabulary.
Ginelle Testa's an avid wordsmith. She's a queer gal whose passions include recovery/sobriety, social justice, body positivity, and intersectional feminism. In the rare moments she isn't writing, you can find her holding her own in a recreational street hockey league, thrifting eclectic attire, and imperfectly practicing Buddhism. Follow her on Insta!