Yeah, We Met Online, But I Need An In-Person Relationship

It seems like pretty much every couple these days met somewhere online. There are so many dating platforms to choose from and it’s way easier than having to leave the house, so it makes sense. I’m not a huge fan of dating online, but due to my hectic schedule, it’s become a last ditch resort for me when it comes to hopefully meeting a great guy. The thing is, I’ve noticed that more than a lot of these guys love to chat but don’t actually want to meet up. Uh, no thanks.

  1. Who wants to talk to strangers all day? If we met on a dating site and all we’ve done is exchange text messages or SnapChats, we’re strangers. I don’t know him and he definitely doesn’t know me, so why on earth would I want to invest that much time in someone I’m never even going to meet? It’s really just a waste of time and I don’t like to waste any of my precious minutes.
  2. I’m not here to just pass time. I’m not a time filler and I won’t be treated like one. It’s pretty clear that a guy who only wants to chat online is either a) passing time while he’s bored between meeting girls he’s actually into or b) is just plain bored and has several of us text girlfriends on the go. Either way, I’m not down for it and I won’t be used.
  3. I’d rather get to know him in person. It’s kind of hard to really get to know someone through online conversations. Sure, I can read all the things he tells me about himself, but if I don’t meet him in person where I can actually see how he interacts in the real world, I’ll never really know who he is. The only things I’ll know about him are what he chose to share and how he wants to be perceived.
  4. It’s not real if it’s not in real life. If a guy won’t meet up with me in person, he doesn’t exist. It’s as simple as that. The only place he exists is in the ether of the online world and I don’t have the time or energy to fantasize about a fake man. I do that enough when it comes to fictional characters in books and movies so I sure as hell won’t be doing it for some average Joe with a Tinder profile.
  5. We can’t know the chemistry is real until we meet. It’s easy to have a decent chat with a guy online if he’s not a psychopath, and that can be seriously misconstrued for real chemistry. It makes no sense to crush on a guy that I’ve never actually been in the physical presence of because we could very well have no sexual or intellectual chemistry whatsoever.
  6. I actually hate texting constantly. More often than not, I just want to be left the hell alone. However, if I meet a guy I’m interested in online, I’ll make that extra effort to keep the conversation flowing so that it will lead to that in-person meeting. However, if he takes it for anything other than a lead up to that and wants to continue doing this for weeks or even months, I’ll be moving on real quick. If I wanted to do nothing but text about BS, I’d hit up a chatroom.
  7. Why do guys even bother if they’re not up for meeting? I mean, seriously? Why even bother with me at all if he doesn’t want to meet up? He clearly isn’t all that interested if he doesn’t want to meet me in person, so what’s with the endless conversations? I could be spending this valuable time on talking to someone who’d like to go on an actual date.
  8. If I was in a chatty mood, I’d text a friend. Dating apps are a means to an end for me, not a way I kill time because I’m bored with my life. I work all the damn time and still have to make time for exercising, hanging out with my friends and all the other things that people with full lives like me do. If I was in a particularly chatty mood and wanted to talk for all hours of the day and night, I’d go to a friend, not some rando I met online.
  9. Sexting is only fun if there’s actual sex going on. Sexting can be fun, and I mean really fun, but if there’s not going to be any actual sex then what’s the damn point? I don’t need to get myself riled up over some guy I’ve never even touched because he’s too afraid, too busy, or not interested enough to actually meet up with me. It’s a waste of good sexual energy if you ask me.
  10. I really don’t understand these millennial men. I’m a millennial woman and I don’t think we’re that hard to figure out. But these millennial men? Well, they’re just mysteries wrapped in enigmas covered in secrecy. What do they really want that involves less clicking of buttons and more in-person eye gazes? It seems like they’re all pretty wrapped up in the more is more mentality of dating sites, but do they ever actually date? Ugh, I’m done.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.