Despite a world full of people on the lookout for love reaching a universal realization that the perfect man doesn’t exist, I’m convinced I’ve found him.He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner but for some reason, I just can’t believe it. In fact, I’m convinced he has some hidden flaw and I’m not going to rest until I find it.
Perfection doesn’t exist. At least, that’s what I thought before this guy decided to just casually waltz into my life. I’d come to terms with compromise. I was okay with the fact that life didn’t owe me a perfect man and a Disney-inspired happily ever after, but it’s hard to keep believing that there’s no such thing as perfect when those beautiful eyes of his are gazing deep into yours across the dinner table as he tells you of past heartbreaks but confesses that he still believes in love. If he’s not perfect, he’s a damn good actor!
I’ve been wrong before. It’s not his fault that I’ve got baggage but I keep telling myself I must be wrong about him. You see, there have been a few guys that I’ve considered a perfect match over the years, only to find out later that they were anything but. I’m not convinced that the same thing won’t happen with this guy but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to try.
I’m not prepared. Truth is, that if he really is the perfect man then I have no idea what to do. We spend years daydreaming about finding our own personal Prince Charming but when we find him, we’re not really sure what to do. I’d just come to terms with the fact that the perfect man doesn’t exist and this guy decides to show up! I wasn’t ready.
What if it’s fake? In a world of fake people, I’m convinced this guy is genuine. He’s opened his heart to me and I just can’t fault it. He has a beautiful soul. His smile is absolutely contagious, but I’m scared he’s just another guy striving to be the nice guy. What if it’s all pretense? I’ve been fooled before and I’m trying hard not to fall victim this time.
We have so much in common. Yes, opposites certainly attract, but it helps to have a few things in common with your partner. It certainly helps if the big important things align, and the big things definitely align with this guy. Our dreams, our goals, even our pastimes are similar! Still, I’m sure there’s something I’m missing. How can two people be so alike?
I can’t be the only one who thinks he’s so incredible. This man is perfect and surely I can’t be the only girl that sees this. Surely there are others out there who see what I see. I’m not usually one to shy away from competition but when it comes to men, I’m not going to fight someone else over them. I’m sitting here trying to imagine all the competition I’d have if I were to call this guy mine. I’m trying to convince myself that’s a flaw.
I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m playing the waiting game. I’m just waiting for him to blurt out an unforgivable fetish or addiction. I’m just waiting for that terrible photo a drunk friend posts of him on social media, hanging all over another girl. I’m waiting for that fatal flaw to reveal itself. The problem is that I’m falling deeper in love with him in the meantime!
There has to be a catch. I’ve grown up in a world where there’s always a catch. I’ve learned to read the fine print in little italics because yes, I’ve been caught out before. They say that if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is! Well this guy sounds, looks, smells and feels too good to be true. So he has to be, right?
I feel like someone’s playing a joke on me. To be perfectly honest, I feel like this is all some kind of joke. I’m suspicious that my best friend has unearthed that list of things I want in a guy (which we wrote together back in high school) and gone and asked someone to pretend to tick off the complete checklist. Everything that comes out of his mouth is perfection and everything makes perfect sense with him. And seriously, what are the chances that he ticks EVERY box? It’s either my best friend thinking she’s being funny (which she’ll pay for, if that’s the case!) or fate’s having some fun with me…
It scares me. I’m a confident girl but this new world in which the perfect man exists is uncharted territory. And if this really is the perfect guy then that scares me. Past relationships have broken down and I’ve handled losing guys who once meant everything to me. But if this is the perfect man then I’m scared I’m going to mess it up. Because picking up the tiny fragments of a broken heart is hard enough knowing that you did the right thing breaking things off with the wrong guy. God help me if I have to try and fix my broken heart after things don’t work out with the perfect man. There would be no coming back from that.
I can’t handle perfect. To be perfectly honest, I don’t need to know what his flaw is but I have to know that there is one. You see, I can’t handle knowing that he’s perfect. He can’t be. If he really is this genuine guy that I’m already way in over my head over then I’m screwed.
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