What Is Micro-Dumping & How Do You Know If Your Boyfriend Is Doing It To You?

Sometimes breakups happen out of nowhere and totally blindside you. Other times, the fade-out is a little more gradual. There can be little signs along the way that your partner is slowly extracting himself from the relationship, so keep an eye out for these 13 that hint at an upcoming split.

He doesn’t talk about his day. He used to be pretty open with you about his day, telling you about the stress he went through at work or what his best friend said when they spoke earlier. These days, he’s clamming up more and that’s not a good sign. He could be confiding in someone else.

He’s lazier than usual. He used to put in effort to call and text regularly but now he’s slipping up a bit. He’s not as reachable as he used to be, or maybe he’s not as good about getting back to you when you leave him texts as he used to be. Either way, something’s not quite right.

He doesn’t argue. He used to argue with you about big issues in the relationship but nowadays he’s all about ignoring the issues under the guise of keeping the peace. The truth is, he could be starting to feel that the relationship’s not worth fighting for.

He jokes about your affection. When you give him a compliment like saying he’s the best boyfriend in the world, he laughs it off or teases you about it. Same goes for when you plan a romantic outing to celebrate your anniversary. While he might seem to be joking around, this behavior, when it happens frequently, can point to how he’s not seeing the relationship with stars in his eyes anymore.

He’s out of it. When you glance over at your boyfriend during conversation, he looks like he’s a million miles away. If this happens regularly, you might ask him what’s up. He’ll probably brush off your concerns and insist it’s nothing, but if he’s always spaced out, it could be a sign that he’s not present in the relationship anymore. He’s only there physically. Mentally and emotionally, however, he’s already considering his options.

He’s rekindling old friendships. Yeah, it’s totally normal to see old high school friends on Facebook and get excited about hanging with them, but if your boyfriend’s become obsessed with enlarging his social circle and he’s nostalgic about people he used to know, it can be a warning sign that he’s trying to find something new in his life. It’s even more troubling if all those old school friends are single men—or women.

Your quality time gets overshadowed. He might still invite you over to his place for dates, but when you get there, he informs you that has to work for most of the day. Or, he comes up with some excuse for why he has to cut the date short. Instead of ending things with you abruptly, he’s slowing weaning himself off you.

Intimacy has changed. You should note a change in your sex life, whether that’s for the better or worse. For example, he might want to have lots of sex with you all of a sudden or he might not want to have much sex at all. Anything that’s a big change from your regular habits can be a red flag that something’s up.

He changes his profile picture on social media. Perhaps he used to have a couple selfie of the two of you as his Facebook profile picture, but now he’s changed it to a gym selfie and you’re nowhere in sight. Although it’s normal for someone to want to change their picture now and then, pay attention. This behavior could be his way of slowly erasing you from his life, first online and then in RL.

His friends are acting shady. If you’ve been friends with your partner’s friends and things have always been cool, it’s troubling if suddenly they’re not as open with you as they used to be or they don’t seem to have time for you anymore. No matter how friendly they are with you, they were originally on his camp, so it makes sense that they would retreat if things start going pear-shaped in your relationship.

He has a new hobby but he keeps it from you. You don’t have to share all the hobbies and interests your partner has, obviously, but it’s a concern if he has a brand new hobby that he doesn’t want to share at all, even if that means talking to you about it. It’s like he’s keeping one part of his life away from you. It might be the first of many.

He’s always down. If your partner’s always under the weather around you, you’ve probably asked him a few times if everything’s OK. He might reassure you that it’s all good, but you’re going to think otherwise (and rightly so) if he’s always sunny around other people but bringing storm clouds your way. Clearly the relationship’s not putting a spring in his step.

He loves his alone time a little too much. Hey, everyone wants space in their relationship to do whatever they want and focus on their individual goals, but if your partner suddenly seems to be carving out more and more space and time to himself, it starts to feel selfish. Soon, he’ll be putting so much distance between you that you’ll never be able to walk back to each other.

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