If you’ve spent any time in the Midwest, you know there’s a whole set of unspoken rules for being polite. These aren’t written down anywhere, but trust us, they’re real. Us Midwesterners might not always come out and say what we’re thinking, but we’ve got our own way of handling things—and it’s all about being really nice. Here are the unspoken rules of Midwestern politeness that we all follow, even if we don’t talk about them.
1.The Passive-Aggressive Compliment
We’re known for our subtle (or not-so-subtle) passive-aggressive compliments. “Oh, that’s an interesting outfit!” or “Wow, you’re brave for trying that color!” is our way of saying, “That’s not for me,” without actually being rude about it. We’re polite, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still have opinions.
2. Saying “Ope” for Every Little Accident
“Ope!” is the magic word. You bump into someone? “Ope!” Drop something? “Ope!” It’s our automatic response to any minor mistake or awkward situation. It’s part apology, part “excuse me,” and it’s really only something you understand if you grew up in the Midwest.
3. Never, Ever Take the Last Slice of Pizza
We’re way too polite to take the last slice of pizza (or anything else). Instead, we’ll leave it sitting there and do the whole “Oh, you take it! No, you take it!” routine until someone finally grabs it. The thought of just taking it without offering first? Unthinkable.
4. The Midwestern Goodbye Takes Forever
Saying goodbye isn’t a quick thing here. There’s the first “Well, we should probably get going,” then 15 minutes of lingering by the door, then walking out to the car, chatting the whole way, and maybe even more small talk as you start the engine. Cutting a goodbye short? We just don’t do that.
5. You Have to Thank Someone at Least Three Times
One “thank you” is never enough. You’ll hear (and say) “Thanks so much!” followed by “Really appreciate it!” and then again, “Thanks again!” before the conversation is done. Over-the-top politeness is just part of being Midwestern.
6. Avoiding Confrontation Like It’s a Full-Time Job
We are professionals when it comes to avoiding conflict. Got the wrong dish at a restaurant? We’ll eat it anyway. Someone cuts in line? Eh, let it slide. We like to keep things as friendly and non-confrontational as possible, even if it means biting our tongues every now and then.
7. Holding The Door Open For Someone – Even If They’re 10ft Away
In the Midwest, holding the door for someone isn’t just polite—it’s expected. And it doesn’t matter if they’re 10 feet away, 20, or even farther. You’ll stand there, awkwardly holding the door, and they’ll start speed-walking to avoid making you wait too long. It’s just what we do.
8. Offering Help, Even If You Don’t Really Mean It
You always offer to help, even if you’re secretly hoping they say no. “Let me know if you need help moving!” or “I can come over and help you paint if you want!” are things we say knowing that they’ll probably politely decline—but it’s the offer that counts.
9. Apologizing for Everything, Even When It’s Not Your Fault
Midwesterners apologize for stuff that’s not even remotely their fault. If someone bumps into you, chances are you’ll end up saying sorry anyway. It’s just built into our DNA to smooth over any and all awkwardness, even if it means apologizing when we don’t need to.
10. Talking About the Weather Is a Must
If you’re ever stuck in small talk in the Midwest, you can always fall back on the weather. “Cold enough for ya?” or “Looks like we’re in for some more snow” are classics. It’s the go-to conversation starter, especially with strangers. So, when in doubt, you can never go wrong talking about the weather.
11. You Never Show Up Empty-Handed
In the Midwest, showing up to a gathering without bringing something is just not a thing. Whether it’s a BBQ, a holiday party, or even just a casual get-together, you always bring a dish, snacks, or drinks, no questions asked. Whether it’s a casserole, maybe it’s a plate of cookies, you know you can’t arrive empty-handed—because that’s the Midwestern way.
12. We Don’t Just Show Up Unannounced—Ever
Popping by someone’s house without calling or texting first? It just doesn’t happen. You give people plenty of heads-up before dropping in because everyone needs time to tidy up and mentally prepare for company. We’re friendly, but we also respect each other’s space.
13. Being Too Direct Feels Rude
Midwesterners aren’t big on being direct, especially when it might come across as harsh. Instead of saying, “That’s wrong,” we’ll soften it with, “Well, I see it a little differently,” or “I don’t know about that…” It’s our way of keeping things as pleasant as possible.
14. Bragging? No Thanks. Downplay Everything
Even if you’ve done something amazing, you downplay it. “Oh, it’s nothing” or “I got lucky” are our ways of staying humble, even when we’ve totally earned the recognition. We’re experts in being humble because bragging feels uncomfortable, so we’d rather brush it off and move on.
15. The Parking Lot Wave Is Non-Negotiable
If someone lets you go in front of them in a parking lot, you better give a friendly wave. Skipping the courtesy parking lot wave is basically bad manners. It’s a tiny thing, but it’s part of the Midwest’s unspoken code of politeness, and trust us—we all notice it.
