You Might Love Me, But This Is How You’ll Lose Me

Every relationship has flaws. Some are just mild annoyances while others are full-blown calamities, but they still manifest even if you truly love your partner. That love is no guarantee of keeping me, especially if you’re exhibiting destructive behavior — and if you’re doing any of these things, you’re guaranteed to lose me forever.

  1. Being clingy. This is insufferable. If I can’t be out of your sight for longer than 10 seconds before you start freaking out, I’m done. I like that you want to spend time with me, but we don’t need to be attached at the hip like mutants all day, every day. I value my alone time and you should value yours as well.
  2. Cheating. This is an obvious one, and it’s unforgivable. There will be no second chances with this transgression — if you cheat, I’m gone, immediately and permanently.
  3. Having no respect for yourself. Self-deprecating humor is hilarious, but when it gets to the point where you’re actually putting yourself down and seeking constant validation, I’m not going to last very long with you. Confidence is hot and I want to see you walk with your head held high. I’m with you because I think you’re awesome, and I hope you can see yourself the way that I see you.
  4. Lying to me. I understand that some things are private and not meant to be shared. You don’t have to tell me everything, but you will definitely lose me if you’re dishonest. Most problems can be worked through and we can do that together. Lying won’t get you anywhere except kicked to the curb.
  5. Not taking care of yourself. Your health is important and letting it decline when you have the power to be proactive is not an attractive quality to have. We have easy access to healthy food and the internet gives us the power to find incredible amounts of information about the human body in mere seconds. Not making use of those things is just dumb. Your mental health is important as well. You should take care of what you can and stay on top of it.
  6. Making unfair accusations. If you suspect me of sneaking around behind your back, you’d better be able to back that up. Blurting out accusations of cheating or dishonesty for no reason is unbelievably insulting. If cheating is the first thing to cross your mind when I’m having a bad day, you must think very little of me. Being in that kind of situation isn’t fair to either one of us.
  7. Having no clue how to be an adult. Cooking, cleaning are basic adult skills. Being unable to do these things will make you a crappy, burdensome partner. Cooking and cleaning can be boring, but they’re easy tasks and things you need to do for yourself. Blowing entire paychecks on the suspiciously placed bottles of lotion in your room was fine when you lived with your parents, but you’re a big kid now and you should know how to handle your money responsibly.
  8. Losing your sense of humor. I will eat an entire bucket of sand before I end up with someone who doesn’t laugh at anything. There is a lot of dark, twisted stuff out there and most of it can be humorous. If we can’t sit next to each other watching stupid videos on the Internet and nearly (or successfully) peeing our pants from laughter, we won’t last.
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.