It Might Not Feel Like It Now, But You’ll Find Love Again

It Might Not Feel Like It Now, But You’ll Find Love Again

Going through a breakup has a way of making you feel desperate. Will you ever find someone who understands you and accepts you like your ex did? Is there really another guy out there you can be comfortable with? The very thought of having to start all over again is absolutely exhausting. But when you feel like love will forever be out of reach, remember these things:

  1. It takes time to get over someone. When a relationship ends, even if you know it’s for the best, there’s no switch to flip to miraculously be over him in an instant. You need time to get used to his absence and adjust to looking forward to a future he isn’t a part of. You can’t expect to move on to the next guy before you’re over the last.
  2. It’s okay to not be ready. Your friends and family might be urging you to put yourself out there if you want to find someone, but if you don’t feel ready to get emotionally attached to someone new, you should listen to your instincts. You don’t want to end up hurting someone else because you really had no business being in a relationship yet.
  3. There are millions of people in the world. Granted, you’ll only ever encounter a small fraction of them, but the point is that just because it didn’t work out with one guy doesn’t mean you’re going to be alone forever. Odds are you’ll find someone else, so don’t lose hope just yet.
  4. You are worthy. Breakups can sometimes wreak havoc on your self-esteem. It might take a little time to build your confidence back up, but never forget that you deserve to find love just as much as anyone else does. Your friend who’s been with the same guy since high school is no more worthy than you are — she’s just on a different path.
  5. You aren’t alone. Being single and being alone aren’t the same thing. You still have your friends and family, not to mention the most important thing of all: your own company. You aren’t the first person to go through a break up and feel hopeless about love. We’ve all been there, and we all get through it one way or another.
  6. Dwelling on it won’t help. The worst thing you could possibly do for your sanity is obsess over when you’re going to meet someone. Desperate vibes are like man-repellent — and you’re definitely not as subtle as you think. Instead, focus on the other things that make you happy. You’ll become infinitely more attractive if you have your own life and don’t need a guy to feel fulfilled.
  7. It’s important to be comfortable being on your own. There’s more to life than happily ever after. Even if you do manage to find that, it might not last forever. That’s why being alone can’t be your worst-case scenario. When you’re alone, you’re in control of your own happiness, and that’s something every woman should become an expert at.
  8. It’s better to be alone than with the wrong person. It may be a simple concept in theory, but in practice, we’ve all stayed in an unhealthy relationship longer than we should’ve. Once you’re free of it, though, you’ll adjust to the single life before you know it. You’ll realize that being alone isn’t something to dread and avoid, but actually something you should enjoy.
  9. Being bitter and jaded won’t get you anywhere. That forever-alone, “woe is me” attitude isn’t cute, and more importantly, it’s only going to hold you back in love and life. Just because you haven’t had much luck when it comes to relationships lately doesn’t mean the world’s against you. No one wants to date a grumpy, negative person, so cheer up — you’ll be surprised how attractive positivity can be.
  10. Things can change in an instant. Even if you go years as a single woman, you could meet someone tomorrow and change everything. The idea of falling in love when you least expect it might a corny cliche, but it’s kind of true. You just never know when, where, or how your life could change, so try to keep an open mind.

 

By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, Complex.ca and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo