44% Of Millennials Would Give Up Sex For This One Thing

Sex, even when it’s only mediocre, is pretty good. Sure, your partner may not get you off every single time but it (hopefully) feels good and is a great way to be intimate. In other words, there aren’t too many downsides to sex. Still, nearly half of millennials would give it up altogether for one particular thing: Amazon.

Sex < shopping on Amazon, I guess. According to a survey by the Max Borges Agency of 1,108 millennial Americans, a crazy 44% of them would happily give up sex for a year if it meant they could shop on Amazon to their hearts’ content. If you love bargains more than orgasms—and who doesn’t?—that kinda makes sense.

An even greater majority would give up booze. An insane 77% of millennials said they’d pick Amazon over alcohol. Incidentally, Amazon’s profit margins would probably go way down since we’re all guilty of making a few drunk purchases that turn up at our doors a few days later and come as a total surprise.

There’s no place off-limits when it comes to shopping. We don’t just hit up Amazon when we’re looking for something specific, but 61% do it in the middle of the night, 57% do it at work, 47% do it while on the toilet (guys, this is intense!), 38% do it while on vacation, 24% do it while grocery shopping (???), 15% while exercising, and a shockingly low 19% do it while drunk. In other words, we’re on Amazon 24/7.

Roughly half of millennials are on Amazon at least once a day. That’s 45% of us, for the record. Who really needs to buy something every single day? To be fair, the survey doesn’t specify that we’re making purchases every single time we visit the site/app, but still, we may have a shopping problem.

But back to the sex thing for a minute. Were the respondents being a bit tongue-in-cheek when claiming they’d give up sex for Amazon or were they single/not seeing anyone and figured they had nothing to lose? Who knows, but if I’m being totally honest, I can’t say I disagree with them…