When dealing with a narcissist, the manipulative tactics they use can leave you questioning yourself and your reality. These behaviors are designed to keep you off balance, vulnerable, and under their control. Recognizing these mind games is the first step to breaking free from their influence. Here are 15 strategies narcissists use to manipulate and dominate their victims.
1. They Highlight Your Flaws
Narcissists love to point out your imperfections, whether it’s your appearance, skills, or personality. These constant jabs lower your self-esteem, making you more dependent on their approval to feel worthy.
2. They Misinterpret Your Intentions
No matter how thoughtful your actions are, a narcissist will find a way to twist them into something negative. If you try to do something kind, they might accuse you of having ulterior motives, keeping you in a constant state of defensiveness.
3. They Play the Victim
A narcissist loves to make themselves the victim, often spinning stories to gain sympathy. If you make plans without them, they might say, “I guess I’m not important to you anymore,” or act as though they’re heartbroken. This guilt trip ensures you’re always prioritizing them over others, slowly isolating you from your support network.
4. They Belittle You in Public
Narcissists often humiliate their victims in public by disguising insults as jokes. They might point out your flaws or bring up embarrassing stories in front of others to chip away at your confidence. By making you feel small, they position themselves as the dominant figure in your life.
5. They Undermine Your Success
When you achieve something meaningful, a narcissist will downplay it or make you feel guilty for your success. They might say, “Must be nice to have so much free time,” or imply that you’re only successful because of their support. This keeps the spotlight off you and on their insecurities instead.
6. They Twist Your Boundaries
Narcissists hate boundaries because it limits their access to you. If you try to set limits, they’ll guilt you into changing them. For instance, they might make you feel selfish for wanting time to yourself, pushing you to prioritize their needs over your own.
7. They Deny Your Efforts
Narcissists conveniently “forget” the good things you’ve done for them. Whether it’s supporting them during tough times or doing small acts of kindness, they’ll act as if it never happened. This dismissal makes you feel unappreciated and pushes you to try harder for their recognition.
8. They Blame You for Their Actions
When a narcissist makes a mistake, they’ll find a way to pin it on you. If they cheat, it’s because “you weren’t giving them enough attention.” If they lose their temper, it’s because “you made them angry.” This shifting of blame keeps you constantly apologizing for things you didn’t do.
9. They Gaslight Your Emotions
When you confront a narcissist about their behavior, they’ll insist you’re overreacting or being too sensitive. By invalidating your feelings, they shift the blame onto you, leaving you questioning your perception of reality.
10. They Highlight Your Flaws
Narcissists love to point out your imperfections, whether it’s your appearance, skills, or personality. These constant jabs lower your self-esteem, making you more dependent on their approval to feel worthy.
11. They Exaggerate Their Sacrifices
By portraying themselves as martyrs, narcissists make you feel like you’re not pulling your weight. They’ll claim they’ve sacrificed so much for you, whether it’s true or not, to make you feel indebted to them. This keeps you in a cycle of guilt and obligation.
12. They Weaponize Your Vulnerabilities
Anything you’ve confided in a narcissist can and will be used against you. They may bring up your secrets during arguments or threaten to expose them to others. This keeps you under their control, afraid of what they might do if you push back.
13. They Hold Grudges Forever
Even after you’ve apologized for a mistake, a narcissist will keep bringing it up. Whether it’s something trivial or serious, they use your past errors to keep you in a constant state of guilt. This tactic ensures you’re always on the defensive, trying to make amends.
14. They Withhold Affection
Narcissists often use affection as a weapon. When you upset them, they might withhold hugs, kisses, or any form of intimacy. This punishment creates a longing in you to “earn back” their approval. Before you know it, you’re bending over backward to meet their needs, all while they maintain control through emotional distance.
15. They Mock Your Choices
From your hobbies to your career goals, a narcissist will find ways to criticize your decisions. They might scoff at your dreams or make sarcastic remarks about your plans. Over time, this erodes your confidence, leaving you second-guessing every choice you make.
This content was created by a real person with the assistance of AI.
