You’ll Miss Your Single Years When You’re In A Relationship — I Do

Not everyone is good at being single but my single years were the best. They helped me create myself and allowed me to do things that I don’t always have time for now that I’m in a relationship. Even though I love having someone by my side, this is why I wouldn’t trade my single years for anything:

I was free to date if I wanted to. If not, it was no big deal. We all know dating can be a complete pain in the ass. My single years were filled with intermittent periods of exploring my options. But the second I got too burned out trying to find a guy I wanted to stick with, I went back to the drawing board. It honestly was the best of both worlds — I met new people, and if I liked them, I kept in touch. If we didn’t vibe or I went on a string of bad dates, I took some time off to focus on me.

I learned what I would and wouldn’t stand for in a relationship. When you decide to date, you’ll quickly pick up traits you admire in a guy and use them as a reference later on. It works both ways, though, since you’ll probably be exposed to lousy behavior at some point in your dating excursions. The hit-or-miss nature of dating allowed me to compile a list of things I absolutely wouldn’t tolerate in my guy and things that were must-haves.

I made major decisions without running them by someone else. It’s great to get feedback from friends and family on what you should do when it comes to things like moving apartments or getting a pet, but knowing the decision is completely yours to make is incredible. I loved making the best choices for myself without having to consult anyone else on them unless I wanted to. It’s one of the things I miss most about being single.

I discovered who I was without distraction. Let’s be honest — peer pressure is real and goes beyond teenage years. Whether we admit it or not, our behavior changes depending on who we’re around, especially if it’s a romantic interest. Being single allowed me to sit down and question myself on some pretty important things. In the end, It made me confident in myself and my decisions.

I met a lot of people and made some great friends. It’s natural that a new relationship will eat up your free time. You’re dying to spend as much time around him as possible, and everything’s new and exciting. When I was single, I hung out with friends a lot more. I also met a lot of new people who I ended up becoming close with.

Living by myself was amazing. Late nights of Netflix binging, walking around in baggy, shapeless pajamas, eating a whole pizza to myself — I was free to do it all without worrying about being judged. Coming home and knowing not a single soul is there to greet you (except maybe a furry, four-legged one) is pure bliss and a feeling you shouldn’t take for granted.

I channeled my energy into some fun hobbies. I’m not half bad at writing, crocheting, or finding my way around in the kitchen. I discovered this when I was single; I took classes for some and learned by trial and error with others. Having the time and space to do literally whatever you want can really help you develop hobbies that you’ll continue with even when you end up in a relationship again.

I spent valuable time with my family. I miss this most of all. I was lucky enough to attend college and live in the same area that I grew up in, so my family was always a stone’s throw away. If I didn’t have plans to go out with friends, I could always stop by for dinner or just to hang out. Now I live across the country from them, and while I talk to them every day, it’s not quite the same. I’m thankful for all the time I did spend with them when I was single.

I scheduled my leisure time exactly how I wanted to. Weekends were spent going out or sleeping in with few exceptions. My downtime after work was comprised of catching up on shows I’d missed or taking a hot bath while I listened to music. I still do these things, but being single meant spending my time how I wanted, when I wanted. I never had to worry that my time doing the things I wanted to do was cutting into time I should be spending with my partner.

I realized I didn’t need another person to complete me. Living with no restrictions and getting to know who I was with the support of friends and family made me feel whole. I was happy, fulfilled, and didn’t need a significant other to complete me. When I finally found someone,  it was more like the cherry on top of an already awesome cake — not a necessity, but appreciated.



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