I Missed Out On My 20s The First Time Around So I’ve Decided To Do Them Again

Admittedly, my 20s were a disaster. Bad decisions and big responsibilities meant I missed out on a lot of key experiences of the decade. While my friends were discovering themselves, I was trapped in a life I wasn’t sure I wanted. But it’s never too late to start over, so I’ve decided to use my 30s to make up for lost time.

  1. I’ve discovered that the edge is an amazing place. When I ended my 13-year relationship and walked away from that life, few were as shocked as I was. This decision was a terrifying risk but being pushed to the very edge of my limits was where I discovered some amazing things. Turns out, taking risks is a lot of fun, so I’m throwing my old rules out the window by saying “screw you” to fear, and “hell yes” to crazy experiences. The edge is where I want to be. This is where we grow the most, learn the most, and the view is spectacular.
  2. I’m partying like there’s no tomorrow. I used to cling to control like a life raft because it was the only way to keep my head above the water—now I dive in head first. Getting drunk on shots and dancing until the sun comes up is a great way to let off steam and it feels like living! Yes, a hangover sucks, but missing out on being your wildest self is much worse. Crazy nights can be magical—this is where you meet outrageous people, kiss beguiling strangers, and create the most hilarious memories.
  3. I’ve undergone a complete style overhaul. Our 20s are about self-discovery, and experimenting with personal style is how we express who we are to the world. I have my whole life ahead to have sensible hair and age appropriate clothes and my look wasn’t representing how I feel inside anymore, so I’ve decided to be wild! My life has opened up to new possibilities, so screw the haters—I’m rocking pastel pink hair and edgy fashion like a hot millennial Cinderella instead!
  4. I’ve reevaluated and redesigned my life goals. This concept of “adulting” is an entirely subjective process. I used to feel trapped by the expectations of mortgages, marriage, and kids —until I admitted to myself I didn’t want any of these things, and that’s okay! I want to live my best life, and my goals right now are about discovering what that looks like through adventures and experiences and learning to take care of myself instead of always putting someone else first.
  5. I’m living life on my own terms. Starting over with nothing was rough and at times felt like a massive step backward, but this didn’t need to be a negative thing. Being knocked back into the circumstances of a standard early 20-something was strangely apt to my fresh life perspective and helped to inspire my 20s do-over. Now I have the freedom to design my own lifestyle. I can go where I want, do what I want, and decorate my environment how I damn well choose.
  6. I spend time roaming the globe. Travel makes you a better person because there’s no better way to expand your mind, gain perspective from the huge world outside your comfort zone, and create amazing memories. Since I found my freedom, I’ve zip lined through a jungle in Thailand, gotten wasted on a rooftop in Barcelona, and explored New York City by myself. And I’m not stopping there—my bucket list is endless!
  7. Fearless dating. One of the craziest aspects of my new life has been re-entering the world of dating, a landscape that has vastly changed in the 13 years that I was away. I entered with a bang and got down and dirty! This involved sneaking out of a one-night stand‘s place at 5 a.m., playing the enigmatic femme fatale with a group of hot guys, experimenting with my sexual proclivity, and a lot more NSFW activities. And now I’m dating a gorgeous (much) younger man! It’s kind of the best.
  8. I’ve started getting rid of toxic friends. When you drastically change your life, you find out who your friends are. Some friends will be there through the mistakes, the catastrophes, and the reinventions, and some will be more short term, but they all have to be rewarding! Our 20s are full of drama and upheavals and I don’t have time for trash friends that want to clip my wings, abuse my kindness, or create conflicts. I’m learning how to build positive friendships and drop the toxic ones in the garbage.
  9. I’m embracing my inner badass. Living with a toxic douchebag destroyed my confidence, but this was temporary. When I needed the courage to leave, my inner badass was there for me, and she’s been growing stronger ever since! Learning to be tough and stand up for yourself is vital to living your best life because it gives you the confidence to take risks. I now feel my best self when I’m being fierce, looking hot, and refusing to let anyone take advantage of me.
  10. Bravery is an adventure. Life is scary, especially during times of change and self-discovery. Bravery is when you’re terrified of something but you do it anyway. For me, this meant conquering social anxiety, dating new people, and traveling alone for the first time. I still have a lot of scary firsts to face up to but each one is worth it because they make me a stronger, wiser woman. Exploring my fears is an adventure that has expanded and improved my life in unimaginable ways so I’m here for the ride, wherever it takes me.