Up until recently, my wedding Pinterest was a closely guarded secret. Correctly anticipating that I’d be mocked mercilessly if my friends and family found out, I switched the board to secret and plotted my future under cover. However, recently I’ve got to thinking—why should I be ashamed of looking forward to getting married one day? I may not be there yet, but I’m a whole lot closer than all the girls playing hard to get.
I don’t have to be planning an actual wedding to know what I want at mine. Relax, it’s not like I’ve booked the venue (although I have earmarked some fabulous ones). I don’t see why I have to be engaged to start planning my wedding—it’s a future milestone to look forward to just like graduation was back when I was a student. Plus, there are so many things to think about, that having a head start on the basics can’t be a bad thing.
Getting excited about the future is natural and it isn’t frowned upon in any other area of life. No one would criticise me if I was dreaming about my future career—in fact, you’d think I was slightly crazy if I didn’t have an idea of where I was headed next. That’s because it’s almost impossible to make decisions in the here and now if you don’t know where you want to be in five, even ten years. By assuming that I’ll be getting married at some point in the future, I’m able to take the steps to make sure it happens.
Anyone who says they haven’t fantasized about walking down the aisle is telling lies. Be honest, ladies—how many of you have genuinely never let yourself daydream down the aisle? Even now, when more and more women are turning away from traditional relationships, the overwhelming majority of us are dying to get married. I’m just way more upfront about it.
I’m as laid-back as girlfriends come, trust me. Reading this, you’re probably assuming I’m some clingy bunny boiler who starts talking diamond cuts on the first date. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, my BF knows that I plan on getting married someday, but I’d never pressure him into settling down. It’s not about doing things as fast as possible, it’s about being open about your priorities, and marriage is one of mine.
Planning my big day down to the napkins helps me visualize the future I want for myself. You know what they say, if you want to visualize something into existence, you can’t just have a vague idea of what you want—you need to be able to imagine it in minute detail. My perfect wedding is so well formed in my mind that it feels real already, so I’m in no doubt that it will happen one day.
I have big plans for my personal life as well as my career. Just like putting the effort in at work to get the big promotion later or making monthly savings to build a deposit for your dream house, making plans for my future wedding now isn’t unhinged, it’s forward-thinking. I have goals for my personal life just like my professional life, and they’re not going to happen if I just sit around on my butt thinking it would be nice to get married eventually.
Knowing what I want from life informs every action I take now. Thanks to all the wedmin (wedding admin, get it?) I’ve been doing, I have a really clear idea of what I’m looking for in the future. The best thing about it? It makes it so much easier to make decisions in the here and now. Every decision, from should I book the holiday of a lifetime to do I want to relocate to a new city, is made with my future goals in mind.
I don’t want to wake up alone in five years time and wonder why I didn’t try harder to find someone. OK, I admit that planning my dream wedding in my early twenties is a tad extreme, but if I think about how quickly time is flying now, it won’t be long until I’m at the stage where I’m ready to tie the knot. I’d prefer to believe that I’d been slightly over-enthusiastic on my quest for true love than to wind up alone with the knowledge that I never really tried that hard to meet someone.
This isn’t some ‘if only’ daydream—I know it’s going to happen at some point. Wanting to get married isn’t like waiting for your lottery numbers to show or to win America’s Next Top Model—there’s actually a pretty decent chance of this one happening, provided I let it. I’m not wasting my time by making plans, I’m investing in my future.
When the future comes knocking, I’ll be ready for it. You can laugh all you want at my wedding Pinterest, but when opportunity arises, it’s me that’ll be ready to grab it with both hands. I’m not going to spend the next five years obsessing over marriage, but I can relax knowing I’ve got my future all mapped out.