The Modern Dating World Can Make You Go Nuts If You Let It

There’s nothing better than a great first date. The lead up can be somewhat terrifying, especially when you’ve met online, but if it goes well, it’s an amazing feeling. However, as the date winds down and you part ways, a bunch of random stuff starts coursing through your brain. It happens to all of us, and some of those thoughts are legit — even if most are absurd. This kind of obsessing can drive you nuts if you let it, but be strong — if it’s meant to be, it will be.

  1. Will he ask me out again? He said, “We’ll have to do this again sometime,” so like, when is sometime? Was he just saying that? You might never know. If he didn’t say any of those things, you’ll replay other possible signs of interest. This is pretty normal of all first dates.
  2. How long before I hear from him? Ugh, this is a painful stage. It could be right away, it could be a few days, or you could get ghosted. The waiting game is annoying as hell, but there’s nothing else you can do about it.
  3. If I don’t hear from him by X time, should I contact him? You might put a timeline on how long is too long before you’re the one to grab the bull by the horns and reach out to end the after-date silence, or just give up on the idea completely.
  4. Is this “The One”? Could this guy be the right guy? This could totally work out and I’m obsessing for no reason. I’m just going to chill and browse the wedding Pintrest boards and oh look, a Say Yes To The Dress marathon is on…
  5. Should I text him to tell him I had a great time? Is that the polite thing to do? Maybe he’s waiting for me to show interest first? Maybe he’s been rejected a bunch of times before and he’s afraid. Surely there’s no harm in thanking him.
  6. Should I go back on Tinder? Maybe I’ll just go back on Tinder to see what else is out there. I shouldn’t get so hung up on one guy after just one date. I should continue to explore my options.
  7. OMG. He was just on Tinder. WTF! He was online 19 minutes ago, but he hasn’t contact me yet. I wonder how many other women he’s dating.
  8. He’s clearly not into me. If you haven’t heard from him or you know he’s still looking at other options, you’ll probably give up on the idea he’s into you enough to ask you for a second date. One thing I’ve learned is that this is actually so common. It sucks, but it’s how dating works now.
  9. These other Tinder guys just aren’t the same. As you swipe through Tinder trying to move on to another great suitor, you’re a little bummed that no one is comparing to the wicked first date you just had. You’re in a state of feeling rejected, so nothing really looks as appealing in that state of mind.
  10. I guess I’ll go on another date. Even though you don’t really want to, you try anyways because getting rejected sucks less when you have someone else interested in you.
  11. Oh wait, he just texted. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll finally hear from the guy. And then you laugh at how silly you were for worrying so much. But, you’re totally justified because this is how we date now. We go on a great first date, and instead of following through on the effort we just made, we naturally look at our other options before we decide to keep proceeding. It’s the commitment phobia of the millennials.
  12. I’ll just wait a while before I text back. Because you don’t want to seem too eager even though you’ve been super eager the entire time with your ridiculous, and yet totally justified modern dating after thoughts.