Modern Dating Has Changed A Lot, But I’m Not Giving In To These 10 Things

When you’re old-fashioned at heart, modern dating can seem more complicated and frustrating than it is for everyone else. I know I need to roll with the changing times if I want to meet a great guy, but I still refuse to give into these ridiculous dating rules:

  1. Waiting an “appropriate” amount of time to text a guy back. There’s absolutely no way I’m playing this game. If I’m into someone and I’m not busy, then I’m going to reply regardless of how long ago he sent the first text. If something as stupid as texting a guy back quickly scares him away, then he’s just not mature enough for me.
  2. Throwing myself into online dating. If that’s the way some people find love, that’s great, but it’s not for me. I want to meet someone the old-fashioned way — in person. I know that most people put the best version of themselves on dating apps, but that’s not reality. I don’t feel sparks via the internet. It’s all about how someone is in person, not on the other side of a screen. Singles might be flocking to online dating, but I’m choosing to stay in the real world and out of its virtual replacement.
  3. Sex on the first date. Or even the third date. I don’t care if that’s a “rule” — I live by my own rules. No one’s going to tell me when I’m “supposed” to have sex. When I’m ready is up to me; when we’re ready is up to the both of us. I have every right to say no at any point, and so does my partner. Just because jumping into sex is the new standard doesn’t mean I have to follow suit.
  4. Blaming the other woman. Modern dating seems to put a lot of emphasis on hating the girl he cheats with, or even simply hating the woman he loves next. I’m not going to be sucked into that BS, though. I won’t call her a whore, bitch, or participate in any form of slut shaming. If I have beef with my ex, then it’s between him and me. I’ll leave her out of it.
  5. Seeing more than one guy at a time. What can I say? I’m just a one-man kind of girl. Even if I’m not officially together with a guy, if we haven’t had “The Talk” and we’re not specifically exclusive, that doesn’t mean I’m going to be going out with different guys every night of the week. I’m choosing to stick with one guy at a time and determine whether or not he’s the right guy before I move on to the next. It might sound old-fashioned, but one at a time is about all I can take.
  6. Believing that chivalry should be dead. Yes, women and men should be treated equally, but why does that have to mean that men can start acting like total jerks? Being a gentleman doesn’t take away from my equality. If he treats me with respect and like he actually gives a damn, I’ll do the same. It should definitely be a two-way street, but chivalry doesn’t have to die.
  7. Sending nudes. My body is my temple, so I’m not going to parade it around a picture stream. If I allow a man to see my naked self, then it will be in person or it won’t happen at all. It doesn’t matter how much I trust a man, I’ve seen this forbidden practice hurt too many women. I don’t want to see a man’s penis pics and he’s not getting a single “naughty” photo of me.
  8. Having meaningless sex. If everyone else is doing it, then I should be doing it too. What kind of sick logic is that? It might be shocking to the modern dating world, but sex actually means something to me. I want more than just a warm body next to me a night — I want a real connection. I want to have actual feelings for the man in my bed and for him to feel the same way about me.
  9. Snooping through a guy’s phone, computer, or anything else. In my life, relationships are nothing without trust. That’s why I won’t stoop to such low levels as to snoop through a guy’s personal property. Even if I’m seeing a guy, he’s still entitled to his privacy. In my mind, if I feel the urge to snoop then I’m better off ending the relationship, because if I can’t trust him I won’t put myself through the pain of being with him.
  10. Acting like I’m better off alone. I don’t want to be with the wrong guy, but I do want to find the right guy. What’s so bad about wanting to find love eventually? I’m an independent woman, but that doesn’t have to mean I have the desire to be single the rest of my life. I want a partner. I want a husband. I want to meet the right man. At the end of the day, no matter what the modern dating standard says, there’s nothing wrong with that.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.