Modern Dating Is The Enemy Of True Love

Love isn’t what it used to be. Today’s dating scene is full of people looking for something quick and easy, not seeming to understand that building a meaningful relationship takes more effort than swiping right on their phones. It might work for some people, but this is why I’m sick and tired of the way people try to find “love” nowadays:

  1. We’re not focused on real life. Our attention spans are now shorter than a goldfish’s thanks to the endless stream of information coming from our phones. This affects our relationships in ways we don’t even realize. Talking to our partner or date while simultaneously tapping on our screens makes for a shallow, lackluster conversation. How are we supposed to connect to each other when our screens are constantly in the way?
  2. We always have one foot out the door. Even if we agree to be exclusive with someone, we never consider ourselves 100 percent committed. We have this need to keep our options open just in case something better comes along. We can thank Tinder and all the other online dating apps for that.
  3. We refuse to define our relationships. When we’re dating someone, there’s no way of knowing when it’ll become exclusive because it takes an eternity to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Blame it on dating apps or whatever else you want — either way, it’s frustrating AF.
  4. We’d rather throw our relationships away than fix them. We grew up in a throwaway culture, and our relationships are suffering because of it. The second the going gets tough, we jump ship instead of talking (or fighting) it out. What we don’t realize is that by working out the kinks, the relationship only becomes stronger by going through these difficult moments together.
  5. We want it all and truly believe we can have it. Millennials are KNOWN for being idealists. We were told that we can do, be, and have anything we want, so when it comes to love, we want it to be perfect. The truth is, though, love is not a cake walk. Sure, there are a lot of good parts to it, but there are also some extremely crappy parts, and we’re constantly being let down by our less-than-perfect relationships.
  6. We’re constantly online. Everyone has their nose in their phone nowadays, and if we’re not up on the latest dating app, we’re pretty much invisible. Look at it this way: having a profile online means that we don’t have to approach that intriguing stranger and ask them on a date. Why would we risk rejection when we know for a fact we’ll get plenty of response from messaging randos on our apps?
  7. We think it’s okay to ghost each other. With dating being so casual nowadays, ghosting is now considered an acceptable way of breaking up with someone. We think that just because we only went out on a few dates, it’s okay to ghost, but it’s really not — it just seems like it’s okay because it involves no conflict or interaction. It might be easy to ignore a few texts, but try ignoring someone in person — not so easy.
  8. Dates mean nothing. Dates are easy to get nowadays, making them less and less of a big deal. Our friends kind of sigh and roll their eyes when they tell us they have a date tonight, mainly because it’s usually with someone they don’t even know. A lot of us are honestly more nervous about being stuck with a weirdo all night than excited for a shot at real love.
  9. We use each other for sex and pretend to be okay with it. We’ve all been there: we try the whole “hookup culture” thing on for size only to be left feeling empty and kinda hurt by it. We tell our friends that it’s just casual and for fun, but when it lasts for months, we begin to feel used. Then, we pretend that we’re okay with it because everyone else seems to be.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.