An Australian mom was left mortified after her kids walked in on her having sex with her husband. Jessica Hood, from Melbourne, was having some intimate time with her partner away from her four kids, only for them all to come barging in while he was “mid-thrust,” much to her horror. While there’s no right way to deal with such an embarrassing situation, Jessica decided the best course of action would be to… play dead.
- Jessica and her husband don’t get much time for sex. As you can imagine, having four kids doesn’t leave much time for getting down and dirty, so Jessica and her husband Karl were grabbing what little time they had while the kids were supposed to be in bed.
- They thought they were in the clear. As Jessica recalled, she and Karl thought they were cleared for takeoff since all the kids were supposed to be in bed. “It’s 9.30 p.m. on a Wednesday what could possibly go wrong? Little bit of nookie never hurt anyone right?” she wrote in a hilarious Instagram post. “I thought my heart couldn’t race any faster during such an intimate moment but now I’m on the verge of cardiac arrest. No amount of chairs or even a chested draw was gonna (sic) stop it. It was like a stampede of elephants except there was no warning. I mean why would there be?! They’re meant to be asleep!”
- Thankfully, the kids didn’t see anything too obscene. As Jessica explained, the kids were only privy to Karl’s “pasty white ass” which was blocking Jessica’s “five o’clock shadow,” though admittedly her legs were up in the air.
- She did what anyone would do: she played dead. Jessica revealed that she was so taken aback and freaking out about the kids walking in, she didn’t know what to do, so she pretended she’d kicked the bucket. “I even threw a little bit of the tongue out the side of my mouth. YEP, I actually did that. Lost my dignity and any sense I had too during my most valuable time,” she wrote. “Reaching around for a blanket Karl flew over me like batman with his cape, hiding any evidence of the act.”
- It didn’t seem like they were aware of what was going on. Karl told the kids to get back to bed and they left without an issue. Jessica was pretty sure that they managed to get away with it, but then she heard her 7-year-old daughter Lily telling her son Logan that “mum and dad were doing sex” while laughing. That’s pretty hilarious, to be fair!
