Relationships are hard work, and adding kids to the mix only makes things more challenging. However, while many assume that having children is what really puts a strain on women, nearly half of married moms claim it’s their husbands who are the bigger source of stress.
- It’s a sad but true fact: moms are stressed. According to a survey of more than 7,000 American moms by TODAY Moms, the average mom rates her stress levels at a whopping 8.5 out of 10, which is pretty serious. It’s not hard to see why this would be the case when you factor in work, household responsibilities, and social obligations on top of the childrearing, but for many women, those things aren’t really the problem.
- Sadly, 46% of women say their husbands stress them out more than their kids. The old joke moms make about their male partners counting as one of their children may be widely used but it’s not particularly funny. According to the women surveyed, women’s stress is much different than men’s, especially when it comes to parenthood. As blogger Dena Fleno explained, “We both work full time and we both try to split the childcare, but somehow I’m always freaking out way more than he is.” She says that while she tends to stress about their lives 10 or 15 years down the line, her husband just doesn’t get it. “My husband, obviously he worries about their future, but he doesn’t worry the same way.”
- Marriage is more difficult than parenting. At least according to Atlanta-based therapist Hal Runkel, author of ScreamFree Parenting and ScreamFree Marriage. Even in good marriages, there’s a certain level of stress and that ends up being compounded by parenthood. “Moms think, my primary job is to be a mom, so she looks to her husband to be a support,” he said, which is his explanation for why many dads step back rather than up to the plate.
- Dads want more credit. According to a 2012 survey by TODAY Moms of 1,500 fathers, about two-thirds of respondents feel like they don’t get enough praise from their partners or verbal acknowledgement of what they do. However, many women feel like they shouldn’t have to mollycoddle their grown husbands and praise them for performing basic responsibilities. After all, who’s praising moms for all they do on a daily basis?
