The More I’m Into A Guy, The More I Hate Texting Him

I love texting and do it often with my friends and family, but definitely not with guys I’m dating. In fact, the more I like a dude, the more I hate texting with him – there’s just way too much that can go wrong when you’re communicating that way and I’d rather not chance it.

  1. I don’t want to get upset. If we’re texting and he doesn’t respond quickly, I’m going to get irritated. I try to be logical about it and understand that he might just be busy or not looking at his phone, but when a guy takes 20 minutes to answer a basic yes or no question, it’s only natural to get little more than a little pissed off. I’m not a perfect person, okay?
  2. It’s too easy to take things the wrong way. Texting creates way too much opportunity for misunderstandings. He might abbreviate too many of his words or forget how to use punctuation, which can totally change the meaning of a message. Either way, there’s a good chance we won’t always be on the same page. He’ll probably send something that I’ll take the wrong way and the relationship will end all because a comma was in the wrong place. How tragic.
  3. Texting becomes everything. Texting plays a role in almost every relationship. I’m not saying it’s always bad, but I don’t want texting to become a huge part of MY relationship. Why? Because it can make people lazy. I don’t want him the guy I’m dating to be half-assing it so early in the relationship — that’s way too soon! I want him to ring my doorbell instead of shooting me an “I’m out front” text (at least for the first few months). Is that too much to ask?
  4. I don’t know what to say. Getting to know someone intimately is hard when you’re mainly just texting! What do you ask? After the generic questions have been answered about family and friends, are you supposed to dig a little deeper? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get to know him by reading messages on my phone — I want to get all the important information in person.
  5. I’m bound to overanalyze and it’ll drive me crazy. I don’t want to have to overanalyze every message he sends, but that’s exactly what’s going to happen if we embark on this texting journey. He’s going to say something random that will lead me to think he’s not interested in me, which will make me sad and probably less likely to continue pursing a relationship. WTF?
  6. The relationship moves too fast. Texting can really heighten a relationship. Some people feel way more comfortable discussing their emotions through a screen. I don’t know why, but it can be easier to catch feelings for someone through the safety of a phone — take EVERY single “Catfish” episode as just one example. I don’t want to get caught up in who he is via text, only to be disappointed IRL.
  7. Texting games aren’t fun. Even if we don’t intent to play games, they’re going to happen. Texting is basically designed for games! He might be working and not able to text me back immediately, but I’ll take that to mean he’s purposely waiting in order to make himself seem cool. So naturally, I’ll wait longer to respond to his message and so on. It’s a vicious cycle that can easily be avoided if we don’t go down the texting route.
  8. Voices are different via text. Have you ever noticed how different people’s voices are when they text? I don’t know if it’s lack of emojis or what, but some guys sound like straight jerks — especially when they end words with periods, like, “Yeah.” Is it just me or is that the coldest message ever? In person, he might not be a jerk, but sending messages like that might make me think otherwise.
  9. Texting shouldn’t determine the state of the relationship. Texting either makes or breaks a relationship. You know it’s true! How many times have you decided to pass on a guy because he was a crappy texter? Exactly. Texting shouldn’t determine if a relationship works, but it does. Personally, I’m a horrible texter and I don’t want the guy to say NEXT because my texting skills aren’t on par.
  10. Things aren’t as personal. Talking via any type of technology makes things way too impersonal. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel more detached from the situation when it’s happening on my phone. If I’m really interested in a guy, I want to actually see him laugh instead of read “lol.” It’s one thing if I’ve been dating him for a while, but if our relationship is just starting off — it needs to start off without texting.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.