There’s More To Life Than Finding Your Soulmate, You Know

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to find love and companionship in life but it shouldn’t be your main focus. After all, you don’t need anyone to complete you because you’re already whole—and besides, there’s so much more to life than finding your soulmate.

  1. You’re meant to be more than some guy’s wife. If you’re certain of nothing else, let it be this. You weren’t put on this earth to be known as Mrs. Such and Such—you’re a smart, strong, independent, badass woman with hopes and dreams (or at least you should be) and you deserve to accomplish every single one of them. That’s not to say that you should never get married but that if you do, it should be the cherry on top of an already bomb life you’ve built all on your own.
  2. You don’t need a partner to experience the world. If you want to learn another language, travel to faraway lands, or even have a baby, you don’t need a partner to do those things with you. Sure, it’d be nice to have someone by your side to share life’s adventures, but you’d be surprised at just how much support and morale-boosting you get from the other people in your life who love you like your friends and family, not to mention those new friends you’ll meet along the way.
  3. You need to stand on your own two feet. At the end of the day, many relationships end and love isn’t enough to sustain them. If you invest everything you are into your soulmate, what happens when they’re no longer in your life? Self-sufficiency is paramount because you’re the only one who will have your back 100% forever. Remember that.
  4. Happiness is an inside job. It’s a cliche at this point but that’s because it’s true. If you’re expecting finding your soulmate to be some life-altering experience that suddenly drops a bucketful of unending happiness in your life, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. It’s up to you to create your own happiness independent of anyone or anything else.
  5. You deserve to be the star in your own life. Don’t ever give other people credit for the things you accomplish for yourself. When finding your soulmate becomes the central focus of your existence, all of your other achievements and qualities fall by the wayside, which is a real shame. It’s your life and you should be the star. Don’t give up that important role.
  6. You could end up making some terrible choices. Feeling desperate to meet “The One” could see you end up with the totally wrong person just for the sake of filling that space that seems so empty in your life. You don’t want to make decisions you’ll ultimately regret because you’re not thriving on your own and you feel like you need a relationship.
  7. There’s not one person for everyone anyway. Being obsessed with the idea of a “soulmate” is problematic because it operates on the assumption that there’s only one person—that’s right, just one out of the billions of people on earth—that’s right for you. Not only is that terribly limiting, it’s untrue. There will be many people who come in and out of your life over the years if you let them, and each of them will add value and teach you different things about yourself and the world. Would you really want to miss out on that?
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia