There Are More Negatives To Getting Married Than Positives

Marriage is far from being sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows every day, but the concept of “’til death do us part” is just so attractive to so many of us that we totally ignore the really crappy parts. Here are just some of the ways that marriage is far from what it’s cracked up to be:

  1. You aren’t truly free to do what you want. Realistically, once you get married, you’re doing most of your activities together. If you feel like staying in and your partner wants to go out, you kinda owe it to them to make a compromise. That’s what marriage is all about, right? Once you get married, you can no longer do the weird and sometimes idiotic things you used to do like party it up all night with your friends or eat a whole cake. You need to take your partner’s feelings and schedule into consideration and it’s gonna totally suck.
  2. Statistically, you have a good chance of getting divorced. Did you know that the current divorce rate in America is 50 percent?! That means out of everyone getting married today, half of those marriages will end in divorce—not the greatest odds, if you ask me. Also, divorce is often way more devastating than a regular breakup because of the marriage label. You flaunted your love in the most extreme way in front of your family and friends and now it’s over. There’s a lot more shame and embarrassment involved, which is why a lot of people find it so difficult to bounce back.
  3. You’re forever responsible for someone else. Once you get married, you’re forever responsible for your spouse’s immature actions. People will be coming to you about their behavior even though you had absolutely nothing to do with it. It’s almost like having a kid. Also, your spending habits are now linked, so their bad credit score is now YOUR bad credit score. Great.
  4. It just seems like such an outdated tradition. Marriage is not as hyped as it used to be. When people say they’re getting married nowadays, my immediate response is, “Why?” I mean, there’s gotta be some kinda specific reason they’re doing it, like immigration or tax cuts or something. We just don’t need marriage anymore.
  5. Weddings are a HUGE waste of money. The amount of money the average couple spends on a wedding (not including the honeymoon) is $20,000. Excuse me? That’s nutty. What young couple out there has that kind of money to throw around? If you’ve got parents who will pay for it, great, but the majority of us will have to find our own way and $20k is looking pretty unrealistic with the current job market and economy.
  6. The baby questions will come in droves. You’d think that once you get married, your family stops bugging you but you’ve never been more wrong. Now everyone wants to know when you’re gonna have a baby. Seriously, get ready, the questions will be coming at you left right and center. Oh, and good luck if you’re a married couple who doesn’t want kids. There are a lot of questions and conversations to avoid.
  7. It can become an added pressure on the relationship. Marriage has certain expectations surrounding it, whether it’s based on something we saw in some bad rom-com or in our own parents’ marriage. When you’re married, you have this unspeakable responsibility to “do it right” and if you end up failing and breaking your vows, it’s just that much more devastating for both people involved. The pressure to be perfect as well as unrealistic marriage ideals could be the very things that end up causing the divorce and it happens way more often than you’d think.
  8. There’s pressure to change your name. Even in this day and age, if a woman chooses to keep her name, it’s still mildly questioned or frowned upon. Even the husband feels a little cheated out of getting the full marriage experience. Some people’s last names are really important to them and could symbolize the history of the family. Every last name has a story behind it and it would be a shame to have to thrown it away just because you’re getting married.
  9. You have to share your bed every…single…night. You know those times when your boyfriend doesn’t sleep over and you remember what it’s like to spread eagle while you doze off? Imagine NEVER getting to do that again—unless your partner goes on a trip or something. Otherwise, you’re stuck with a bedmate FOREVER. Sucks, right?
  10. Sex becomes dull. I like to imagine that the sex gets better once you get married, but popular opinion kinda agrees that it undoubtedly gets stale. If you’ve got two people who are already kinda closed off about sex, they’re going to inevitably get into a sexual rut which will either end in divorce or general complacency within the marriage. I would actually choose the latter.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.