Most Guys Can’t Handle Honesty And I Can’t Stand It

I used to play mind games. Whenever I liked a guy, I’d act like I didn’t care to make him want me. As I got older, however, I realized that this is a complete waste of time. I decided it’d be better if I was honest and upfront with men but weirdly enough, they kind of hated me for it.

  1. No one likes being rejected. In the past, when I wanted to end a fling, I’d simply say that I was too busy or that I’d call the guy. Being honest, however, I straight up told a guy a while ago that I wasn’t interested. There was no excuse—it was just bad chemistry. Instead of being happy that I saved him time and effort, he got mad at me. No one likes being rejected and once I removed the fake excuse from the equation, the guy felt like something was wrong with him and lashed out. Ugh.
  2. My honesty intimidates men. The guys I date are used to being in power. This is why it was so hard for someone I was seeing to accept that I was calling the shots by being honest. All of a sudden, I had a ton of confidence and swag. My honesty gave me all the power and the guys I’ve met really don’t know what to do with it. They either completely disappear from my life or just turn into the jerks they obviously were all along.
  3. Some men genuinely love mind games. Believe it or not, some guys are completely into mind games. When I told a guy I’d been hooking up with recently that I didn’t want to have sex with him anymore, he thought I was just playing to make him want me more. Then I flat out said that I really had no interest and that I appreciated the time we spent together. It was in that moment that it hit him—I really wasn’t playing games, just being honest. He pulled away immediately and insisted he’d never really been interested in me anyway. Yeah, okay.
  4. Being honest gives me a ton of power and weak men can’t handle that. Being honest to me means exposing myself and accepting a level of vulnerability. Not many girls have the guts to do that. Being exposed can get you hurt. Once the guy I was seeing saw my courage, he felt bad about himself for not being able to be vulnerable. He told me he needed time to think about our relationship and that he’d call. That was six months ago.
  5. I’m honest about my feelings and guys bail on me. When I like someone, I tell him so. When this dude I was seeing heard that I wanted to be serious with him, he got cold feet and ran away. He wasn’t ready. When I told another one that I wanted to see him but other people as well, he got super offended and ditched me. I could have gone behind his back and done whatever I pleased, but I think that honesty shows respect and we all deserve it.
  6. I’m brutal with my criticism. I criticize my guys a lot because I care. If I break them down, I’ll build them up with honesty. I want to be with someone who can help me be better. The only way to do so is to call me out on my mistakes and give me advice. Those who can’t accept my remarks are too weak and too immature for me. Turns out, being honest can get you into a lot of trouble.
  7. I don’t do little white lies. I used to tell a little white lie here and there, like if I hung out with my ex but failed to mention it to the guy I was seeing. Now that I choose to be honest, I admit when I hang out with my exes as friends. Turns out, men hate that. Even if you have no feelings for your old lover, the fact that you’ve seen each other naked is a dealbreaker. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to lie about who I spend my time with. If he doesn’t trust me enough to accept it, we’re done.
  8. Being honest about your boyfriend’s family is a no-no. I tried telling the truth about his family. I thought that his mom was overbearing, so I admitted it when he asked for my impression. Turns out, this was a huge mistake. He said he couldn’t date someone who didn’t love his mother, so we broke up.
  9. I stopped flattering guys and they hated it. What’s the point of telling a guy his abs look amazing and that he’s fantastic in bed if that’s not the case? I used to flatter guys for no reason. Then I decided to be honest. Looks like men love compliments even if they’re fake. At least being honest can save you from a narcissist.
  10. Men hated when I was honest in public. Apparently, guys don’t like it when you answer questions about your relationship in front of their friends. When an ex’s best friend asked me how our sex life was and I admitted that it had been lacking lately, he got so pissed. Why would I lie, though? Every couple goes through good and bad times and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t want to be a liar just to make him seem cool in front of his friends.
Dayana is a passionate traveler who's been navigating foreign lands and confusing relationships since she was 16. You can read more of her work on Matador Network and her blog, Dee Across The Sea.