My Potty Mouth Is Apparently A Turn-Off To Guys—Luckily, IDGAF

I’m an intelligent, well-read woman who can totally carry myself in professional and formal situations, but when I’m doing my own thing with my friends and in more laid-back settings, I curse like a sailor and pretty much every other word out of my mouth has four letters and starts with “f.” Apparently, that’s a huge turn-off for a lot of guys, but guess what? IDGAF.

  1. I’m an adult and I know when it’s appropriate or not. Just because I tend to drop the f-word in casual conversation doesn’t mean I’m going to use it around children or in a setting where it wouldn’t be appreciated. Part of the appeal of swearing is knowing your audience. I don’t swear to get a reaction, true, but I’m not going to put myself in a position where it’s going to cause a scene or be ill-received.
  2. I find it therapeutic. I’d be hard-pressed to find someone that doesn’t feel an emotional release when uttering a profanity after they stub their toe or get irrationally (or rationally) mad over something. I know it’s not for everyone and there are people that get on fine with a tamer version of language, but I’m not that person and I don’t know many that are. It makes me feel better, so what’s the problem?
  3. Why sugarcoat it? Sometimes there isn’t a better word to say in the situation. I don’t want to beat around the bush—if I choose to add an expletive then I choose that. It’s real life and I want to be the realist version of me that I can and that comes with an occasional foul word in an appropriate situation.
  4. There are a lot more offensive words out there. Instead of worrying about what I’m saying, maybe people need to be more concerned about some other, more hateful words that people use towards others sometimes. I’d rather hear someone include a swear word in a sentence than call someone a hurtful name or degrade them. I can handle the cursing but I have a very low tolerance for speech that can have a more long-term effect on another human being. To be honest, swearing is the last thing people should be worrying about right now.
  5. That being said, swearing isn’t okay if it’s used to hurt another person. Yes, there is more harmful language out there, but curse words can be used for bad and I won’t deny that. I prefer to use mine in a more light-hearted tone but I don’t believe in using them to tear down someone else. Like it or not, words can do an insane amount of damage to another person and swearing shouldn’t be a part of that.
  6. Swearing doesn’t mean I’m disrespectful. I’ve found that there seems to be some unjustified correlation between disrespect and using profanity and that’s BS. I always show everyone I meet the same level of respect and courtesy I would expect in return. I choose my language carefully and I know that using certain words in front of people that don’t use the same ones probably isn’t the best idea. I can’t say that I haven’t made a mistake a time or two, but I in no way aim to be discourteous to another soul if I can help it.
  7. I have many other good qualities. My mouth shouldn’t be my defining attribute. I’m a good person; I try to do the right thing and stand up for others. I find that when someone discovers my colorful words, that tends to outshine a lot of my other qualities and I think that’s rather unfair. My speech choices shouldn’t come before other things.
  8. Swearing doesn’t always mean anger. I have seen in my own life that swearing is often associated with angry feelings so I can completely see how a lot of people can have that mindset. I don’t fault them for that, but I would like the stigma to change and if I can be a part of that, I’m happy to. Swearing may add emphasis to certain situations, like when I say “I’m acting fucking nuts” when I’m acting nuts. I won’t say that I haven’t used curse words out of anger, but I actively try to be mindful of my use.
  9. Freedom of speech, baby. When it comes down to it everyone has the right to express themselves as they see fit. When it comes to my romantic life, I want someone that supports me as well as my foul mouth and understands my choice to use the words that I do. Anyone who doesn’t isn’t right for me, and it’s as simple as that.
jordan is a writer from salt lake city who enjoys a good steak, her dog, and conversations about how radiohead is awesome. she hopes to be a talking head on some VH1 pop-culture show someday and can curate a playlist for any occasion. when she grows up she wants to be an olsen twin.