I’ve been the token single girl my entire adult life: third wheeling, RSVPing to weddings sans plus-one, never missing a girls’ night and booking solo trips to the other side of the world whenever I damn well pleased. That was until the day I met the man of my dreams and moved in with him two days later. I’ve always been a firm believer in the “when you know, you know” philosophy but I never expected this.
We got a crash course on each other by moving in together so quickly. When I met the man I now call my boyfriend, all I knew was that our connection was strong and real. After just a week of living together, I felt like I knew him inside and out. I learned that he can’t keep his eyes open long enough to read two pages of a book in bed and that whether I lose my phone, my car breaks down, or I come down with the flu, he’s there to fix it. In just a week, I learned what kind of person he is deep down and I love what I found.
We skipped all the BS. You know those first few weeks of dating someone you’re really into when you strategically play it cool while still trying to charm the pants off the person? Well, it may sound unromantic, but when my love interest and I moved in after two days of dating, we bypassed all of that. There was no awkwardness, no games. We had no choice but to be truly and completely ourselves from day one.
We saved a ton of money. We didn’t move in for the purpose of saving money, this was just an added bonus. While splitting the cost of rent was nice, we also saved quite a bit of money because we were busy bonding. We cooked for each other, went for walks on the beach, played cards on our porch, and talked for hours. We planned occasional dates, but most of the time it didn’t feel necessary to go out when we really just wanted to spend time with each other.
We became better versions of ourselves. My boyfriend and I realized within the first two days of knowing each other that we’re both fiercely competitive. A healthy rivalry was established on day one. If he runs three miles, I run four. Part of its fun and games but it also truly pushes us to be better. I’m not going to skip a session at the gym when I know my competition is out there training! When my new boyfriend and I moved in, we immediately started holding each other accountable for the goals we set and it feels great.
We nipped communication issues in the bud. Whether it’s a roommate, family member, or a partner, communication is important when you live under the same roof. Is the trash out, are the bills paid? When my partner and I moved in, we established how we communicated and what the other person felt was important to get across. We kept our independence but were still respectful of one another, which made trust easier to build.
We merged our friend groups. When we first met, we didn’t have a single mutual friend. That quickly changed when we started living together two days later. I’ll admit it was odd at first when we’d both have people over, but we ended up all hanging out and forming a great little group. It wasn’t long until we started hosting dinners for all our friends, which was a bonding experience in and of itself.
We passed our good habits along to each other. I’m a vegetarian, he meditates; I read every night, he runs every morning. When my new boyfriend and I started living together, we didn’t just talk about our passions and explain our routines over dinner, we shared them. Every morning when he’d wake up to his alarm at 6 a.m. to meditate, I would as well. He went so long without eating meat because I didn’t eat it that he ended up becoming a vegetarian as well. His habits became mine and mine became his, which brought us closer.
Time was on our side. We’re young, we’re ambitious, we’re social… and we’re also independent beings trying to cohabitate and sync two separate lives in a way that works. Moving in together meant that we wanted this to work. Even still, there were those nights when one or both of us would need to work late. Living together allowed us opportunities to show we cared, like doing the other person’s laundry or making sure they had dinner when they came home. The little things early in the relationship that showed we cared made all the difference when we couldn’t spend quality time together.
We embraced spontaneous moments. You know when you’re with someone new and everything is exciting? When my boyfriend of two days became my roommate, we embraced every free moment together. If we had a sudden urge to go for a hike, we put on our boots and went. We didn’t have to call up the other person to arrange a time, make a plan, or set a destination. We embraced the energy of the new relationship and didn’t waste a second.
We grew together. Our relationship moved quickly and unconventionally but our bond is stronger because of it. Some may think it’s unromantic for a relationship to move at the speed at which ours did, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It was the best decision I’ve ever made.
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