Moving To A New City Changed My Entire Perspective On Dating Apps

For years, I thought that dating apps were the absolute worst. Even if I matched with people, they hardly talked to me. I swore them off forever, but when I moved, I realized it wasn’t the apps that were the problem. Here’s why I love them in my new city.

  1. Guys are less plentiful but they’re better quality. At first, I worried that there would only be about 12 guys to choose from because I moved to a community drastically tinier than where I previously lived. I soon realized that despite having fewer people, I have way better luck here! It’s awesome.
  2. Guys act like adults. When I used dating apps before, I only met man-children who wanted to hit it and quit it. They weren’t interested in building a relationship and a life with a partner. Now everyone I meet is eager to spend time with me and get to know me. It’s seriously refreshing.
  3. Guys swipe because they’re legit interested. It’s not a game here. The options are limited, so the men are less likely to ghost out after they chat with me for a couple of days. They’ve been incredibly sweet and they genuinely want to meet me because of who I am.
  4. Guys are proactive. I was so tired of men getting my hopes up only to let me down that I quit using apps altogether. When I moved, I decided to give them another shot. I’m so glad that I did! The men up here not only express interest, they follow through with concrete plans.
  5. Guys make plans and they keep them. To be honest, I’m the only one who has flaked out. I feel terrible, but in the midst of my transition, my schedule isn’t always predictable. Every guy is patient and accommodating—and not a single one of them stopped talking to me as a result. If they make a date with me, they always turn up for it.
  6. Guys treat me like I’m an actual person. I’m not a status symbol or a piece of meat to them. In my last city, I was always super nervous and dreaded first dates. I could see them pretending to listen until they figured out if they could get me into bed. The dudes in my new area are respectful. None of them have even tried to kiss me yet.
  7. Guys have legitimate jobs, interests, and goals. Coming from a city where everyone is struggling to make ends meet and chasing sketchy dreams, this means a lot to me. It’s refreshing to be around chill, genuine, motivated men who know what they want. I actually love looking at dating profiles here because they’re interesting!
  8. Guys treat me incredibly well when we actually meet. It’s easy to act like a decent person online, but I’m often sorely disappointed once I meet someone. Not so in my new community! I got really jaded about guys in the past, but these men are restoring my faith. They are sweet, thoughtful, and considerate.
  9. Guys understand that time is of the essence. The men I met on dating apps here are extremely patient. I talked to some of them for weeks before my actual move. They all waited for me to be ready, but when I was, set up dates immediately. I feel valued because they don’t want me to get away.
  10. Guys engage, interact, and communicate. I pretty much up gave up hope on dating before I moved. Now I like everyone I meet and can’t choose. It’s a crazy and unexpected difference. All of my current prospects are emotionally mature and great communicators. It’s almost unreal.
  11. Guys are more interesting and well-rounded. It’s sad but definitely true. I didn’t connect with the men in my previous area. Now I’m meeting a plethora of well-educated, well-traveled, charismatic and funny gentlemen. It’s lovely, and I found every single one of them on dating apps.
  12. Guys actually express their interest and intent. I realize how sad this is, but when I lived in a huge city, it shocked me every time a man made any decent gesture. If someone set up a real date, it floored me. I got tired of begging for behavior that should be automatic. Now everything feels easy and natural because the guys here are great.
  13. Guys are genuinely kind and considerate. Again, this shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is to me. I gave up on dating apps because I only met men who were lazy or looking for an easy hookup. I despaired of ever finding a dude who treated me well. Now every guy I meet gives me consideration, time, and effort. It’s amazing, and I’m so glad I gave dating apps another chance.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at